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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Forgotten Foreversdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: whispered_chaos
    ASL Info:    15/f./cincinnati ohio
    Elite Ratio:    6.8 - 151/94/48
    Words: 236
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 96
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1691



    Description:
       Well, if someone has a different title idea, it would be much appreciated. I hate titling. Other than that, say what you will.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsForgotten Foreversdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's raining hardly in her eyes,
    and hardly raining-
    Her demise-
    Appease the old man's whims they say,
    and rain will let him live today.

    His smile is black.
    His crooked tooth gleams.
    His lips are filthy-
    The man of her dreams.
    His smile is shattered.
    His nose is askew.
    His eyebrow is furrowed-
    It's as if he once knew.
    His eyes are so milky.
    His wrinkles, so creased.
    His skin is so sallow-
    Their love has now ceased.
    His veins pulse so faintly
    under sickly flesh,
    His heart beats ever softly-
    Tears are warm and fresh.
    He knows he cannot reach her
    with his fragile, nimble hand.
    He knows he only needs her,
    and that she'll never understand.

    Her hand clasps his.
    His tears flow free.
    Too close to him she'll always be.
    Her finger traces
    his quivering lips-
    A torturous gesture onto which he grips.
    So feverish now,
    this gentle soul-
    He lives through torment.
    He's never whole.
    An intake of breath
    so sharp and forbidding,
    He waits once more to do her bidding.
    He clenches his eyes shut
    and begs to let go-
    Forever in love,
    but never she'll know.

    Her face turns away,
    already he's erased-
    Her memory is faulty;
    their forever now replaced.
    It rains down hardly in her eyes,
    and hardly raining-
    Her demise-
    Appease the old man's whims they say!
    Her love is fallen rain today




    Submitted on 2008-01-01 22:41:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      ok i liked it although i'm not quite sure what to make of it....at first it seems as though the man (or boy or guy or whatever, unless of course, you're writing about transgenders again:)) is sort of parasitic to the female entity in the poem....he's pathetic and sickly, dragging her down with him.......
    but then i felt somewhat sorry for him because it seems like the girl in question desserted him when he needed her, and then it seems to me that the girl was the parasite all along and she destroyed the man and then left him when he began to decay........
    idk i'm in an overly thinky mood today and of course we all know that poetry is interpretive!
    see you tomorrow hopefully
    sue
    | Posted on 2008-01-04 00:00:00 | by SYnesthesiA_WaR | [ Reply to This ]



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