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you were still alive


Author: Myopic
Elite Ratio:    2.31 - 31 /58 /63
Words: 281
Class/Type: Misc /Misc
Total Views: 1352
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 2173



Description:




you were still alive



blanketed by those
things that
society would not let
you benefit from,
selfishly
those songs you made in
tape cassettes lying on
your floor, sounds
of silence to everyone else.

"life is despair"

she says.
that last word softly
melting from her mouth
like the smoke
from a fatally existential
French woman's
cigarette,
dressed in black,
for a black
room.

you, turning your head,
filled with
indirectness, say,

"But,
what about
when life
is happiness for
so many just
like you - always at some
desperate
point needing to
prove your
animal nature?"

failing to see herself,
her head is
away from the sun, as she stares
to the oncoming darkness to ail her eyes
already so blinded by the sun,
she feels cold relief in the dark under it's blankets,
slowly freezing.

"right
or wrong
you
move on,
you always do,
or else what would you
have to live for?
and you may not ever know
anything,
but you'll eventually thank
God or whoever for
the fact that we're not
so focused on one
supreme thing,
while so many other types
of beautiful things fly past you.
you pay no notice."

"we're all alive,
you know.
all we have to do
is find out what
the hell that means"

she turns to you
with that self-righteous expression
on her brow that she knows
so well,
so Victorian, so decadent in sweets
and fine wines, clinging to her own
words in such confidence, as if
she had nothing else to
hold on to.

"my darling,
so angelic,
no one's
alive
and even if they were,
we're all
too sick
to see it."




Submitted on 2008-01-02 10:40:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I gotta agree with Santos. You seem to be in tune with trends. Don't know if that's a good thing though. This modern poetry seems to washed out for me. You need brighter visuals to get my attention. Nonetheless it's an ok poem.
| Posted on 2008-01-02 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a great piece...in tune with the trends we have seen in poetry over the recent years.
Your poem reminds me a lot of modern poets, like Larkin and Hughes, although there are strains of Elliot in your imagery.
Good stuff...you've got a good hold of technique.
| Posted on 2008-01-02 00:00:00 | by Roberto Santos | [ Reply to This ]


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