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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I am Finedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: EEKS
    Elite Ratio:    2.84 - 647/1071/601
    Words: 191
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 123
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1051



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI am Finedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I took a trip to the burning bridge in the field where I first kissed you
    There was shattered glass all along the dirt road and I wasn't wearing shoes
    I dragged my feet along and saw the wreckage Id left behind
    I almost broke down for the first time but then I lied and said I was doing fine

    Thats my lie, my lifeline, Im doing just fine
    Im fine fine fine fine fine fine and nothing you say will make me change my mind

    I drove along a dried up riverbed on a rusty bike
    I sifted through the shattered shells afraid of what I'd find
    There is just enough loneliness here but I am nowhere near satisified
    I ran into my mother again and almost cried but I dried my eyes and said I am doing just fine

    Thats my lie, my lifeline, Im doing fine
    Im fine fine fine fine fine fine and nothing you say will make me change my mind

    I am all right and there is nothing you can do to change my mind
    Im just fine






    Submitted on 2008-01-02 16:31:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      There is always a lot of space between what one may deem right and wrong. There is thin line between bravery and cowardice. At times acts of extreme bravery are mistaken to be cowardly and vice versa.
    I could relate to your piece, because I had been in similar situation in life, and had to make tough choices. I wouldn't say that your piece was spectacularly written, nonetheless it reflected an important reality of life.
    | Posted on 2008-01-16 00:00:00 | by moaxcym | [ Reply to This ]
      hey hi best to you for 08
    i liked this post it leaves me thinking a few good thoughts i had to read it twice just to make sure the meaning was clear
    great post
    hope all is good
    sandman
    | Posted on 2008-01-03 00:00:00 | by sandman | [ Reply to This ]
      This was pretty good :]
    I imagined like a fake world like willy wonkas factory but broken down and broken.
    I can relate. There's alot going on right now in my life and I stopped telling people about it so I just smile and say I'm fine. It's hard when no one even knows your lying and they don't even try to get it out you know?
    I felt this was original. I haven't read alot of poems with a fantasy world like this one where it comes in and out of reality like this one
    Great Write :]
    | Posted on 2008-01-03 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like how you say that your fine is your life line. Makes me think how may times i say it when i know i am not. I really like this one well writen and makes your think.
    | Posted on 2008-01-02 00:00:00 | by Cokesu | [ Reply to This ]


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