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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Eye's and I'sdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Valle_Siddious
    ASL Info:    24/Male/Dystopia
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 93/94/41
    Words: 70
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 1484
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 522



    Description:
       I have not written in quite some time.
    Little rusty, but what do you think?


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEye's and I'sdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Watching life drain from his face;

    Wishing only for another place.

    Satin red my velvet hands,disobeyed,
    ignored commands.

    Staring out in blank dispair; his reaching
    out for breathing air.

    Dying fingers cross the throat,
    incesion deep, a burgundy moat.
    T
    he I's they widen greatly still.
    Eye took the life, killed the kill?

    Rejecting blame, a brief hello.
    I've never even met this fellow.




    Submitted on 2008-01-02 20:30:18     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      in the service we must kill or be killed...

    the perspective here is interesting...it is like that thought...what would this person be like if we sat down and had a beer together rather than one of us having to kill the other...
    we are not even acquainted..and this is a sad way to meet...
    the use of eye and i is well done...i had a time with the line "T" but i see the double meaning of "the" and "T" "He" working..just had a time getting around it in the reading--a little awkward ...

    but then the moment depicted in the poem is awkward in itself..and not easy to get over...so in a way it fits.

    jacob
    | Posted on 2011-04-30 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ]


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