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    dots Submission Name: Nostalgia of Rocksdots

    Author: annie0888
    ASL Info:    49/f/LA
    Elite Ratio:    4.76 - 327/382/122
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 990
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 805


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    dotsNostalgia of Rocksdots


    These stones remember when they were lava.
    Remember when they were molten hot
    and glowed orange. The other rocks
    could only sit in heaps nearby and be warmed
    by their curving grace and the brush of their fluid moves,
    finding solace only in ancient dreams
    in which they too, were lava.
    These stones recall the raptors
    who prowled and scrapped and danced
    between the thick branches of their rivers
    before leaving bones behind. There was a time
    when these stones flowed past, invincible.
    Who could hold such radiant streams?
    Now pressed hard, contained in their solidity,
    each squats in the gritty pile, cooled and gray,
    keeping secret the fiery spark within.

    Submitted on 2008-01-04 00:36:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Grey and cold on the outside, spark of fire on the inside. Yes, I remember it well, but heck, I'm still only 55! I want my motorcycle back.
    | Posted on 2008-01-05 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I very much enjoy you telling a story about aging, time and the pure nostalgia of a vivid past. You don't use the typical perspective of a person aging, and im SO glad thats the case. You use vivid adjectives and nouns to paint a picture, where the reader can almost feel the scraping of the raptors dancing, and the heat from the lava flowing. Your form and diction are very stable.

    My small nit pick is that since it is devoid of a rhyme of any sort, it tends to have problems progressing. It reads really slow to me. Nothing wrong with that, some poems work better that way.
    | Posted on 2008-01-04 00:00:00 | by Passionbyapathy | [ Reply to This ]
      after the first read, i thought this is nice a nature poem about a volcano or a mountain.then the 2nd read then it hit me.(nostalgia,cooled and grey,the fiery spark within)very clever i must say. i think here we have a man or woman sitting alone recalling the years gone by, like the older ones before him or her (the older rocks who where also long ago lava).well thats how i interpreted your poem,nice write.
    thanks for sharing
    | Posted on 2008-01-04 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]

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