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    dots Submission Name: Across The Vasts Of Timedots

    Author: Algol46
    ASL Info:    200/m/East of Eden
    Elite Ratio:    2.72 - 1111/1235/613
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Dark
    Total Views: 732
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1191


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAcross The Vasts Of Timedots

    Her lashes blink with cunning
    Across her jewel like eyes.
    Her beauty is most stunning,
    This snare of Truth and Lies.
    For she is queen of millions,
    Pale empress of dark minions,
    Whose teeming, flapping pinions
    The color of her eyes.

    Ah, come to me my lover,
    Across the vasts of Time!
    Most sure we will discover
    A timeless love sublime!
    Your throne a monstrous beryl,
    Your heart both dark and feral,
    Our love it would imperil
    The very stuff of Time!

    Refuse me not this hour,
    For none withstand my wrath,
    But rather be my flower
    Grown down my gardenís path.
    For I have roused the ages,
    With spells from yellowed pages,
    Grim magics from the sages,
    So do not test my wrath!

    I sit now and I cower,
    Alone within my room,
    For Iíve unleashed her power,
    And so have sealed my doom.
    My fevered body shaking,
    My nerves are taut and quaking,
    My heart is near to breaking,
    For she has sealed my doom!

    Submitted on 2008-01-04 15:26:03     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I'll stand up for this one, Well done. I'd like to add this to my fav's.

    blessed be

    | Posted on 2008-03-28 00:00:00 | by illusions35904 | [ Reply to This ]
      Marvelous! This is perfect in its story, structure, and rhyme scheme, and is a delight to read and contemplate (upon the story and meaning)!

    Sometimes I have trouble concocting a comment for your work for it is all virtually perfect and amazing, and I feel like I am repeating myself from comments previously made!

    I haven't been by in awhile as I have been recovering from the flu.
    | Posted on 2008-01-06 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the use of 'vasts' rather than plain ol' 'vast'.
    I looked up 'vasts' on dictionary.com and got a positive result for 'vast's'. Same definition as vast. I also see that the word vast is derived from the Latin 'vastus' so maybe the form with the s stems from a carryover of the latin form...
    Regardless, the word's meaning isnt lost by any means. I think the 'vasts' conveys a more epic-like feel.
    This is surely an epic-type of poem. Kinda-sorta legendary.
    I enjoyed it a great deal. My favorite passage:
    "Our love it would imperil
    The very stuff of Time!"
    | Posted on 2008-01-05 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      This piece has its interesting moments for sure but I have to believe that there is really no plural of vast so the use of vasts has thrown me off quite a bit.
    | Posted on 2008-01-04 00:00:00 | by ErgoIgo | [ Reply to This ]

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