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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Racedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ashik
    Elite Ratio:    4.65 - 50/37/31
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Poetry/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 1351
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 579



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Racedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Run
    Thump
    Dump truck
    Red
    Moves fast with mindless thoughts
    Race hard move fast,
    Keep watch for blue dump truck
    Colorful graphics of creative minds
    Swirling and splashing paint
    Be careful not to mix facts with emotions
    Lust desire passion and zeal
    Truth sets you free,
    But passion drives you out
    Pain killer facts wipeout
    The faint fall
    End is near
    Hold tight when feeling dry
    Cry out
    Wet cool paint falls
    Short, fast, few and far between.




    Submitted on 2008-01-06 20:40:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You seem, as this is the third piece of yours that I just sift through, to be an abstract poet. You enjoy colours, and I bet you love painting even more. I have many impressions about this piece, but my first is annoyance. Why? It annoys me, duh! The first bit of it, up until colour mind, translates into this narcissistic gloat. My impression is that you write down inconsequential details and see beauty in the haphazard links you see. It is as if fortune trumps logic, and you push towards fortune - I do mean in the randomness sense, however archaic that may be. Now why does this annoy me? I enjoy logic, and envy luck; why wouldn't it? The rest of the piece seems like a simple run down of ideas you feel have dominion over simpleton's lives. I like the wet cool detail, it's what makes me think you love paint.

    Tell me, why does truth set you free?
    | Posted on 2008-01-07 00:00:00 | by Outlaw | [ Reply to This ]


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    155512

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    January 10 07
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