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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Woke updots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Flynn
    ASL Info:    24/M/MI
    Elite Ratio:    3.77 - 74/123/48
    Words: 429
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Friendship
    Total Views: 912
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2383



    Description:
       Betrayed by a friend... and then my dear girl Bee dedicated a whole day to helping me out. I think I gained more than I lost, when I thought about it, so I wrote her this song.

    Well the lyrics. I wanna put notes in this one. It's a keeper, after a few editions, of course.

    It's upbeat, kinda silly-sung, almost rapped but to an acoustic guitars beat. Simple chords and shet.

    If you see spelling errors tell me, and also wonky sloppy rhyiming (it is 1:30 here)

    Y'all who read me are well loved, I will return the comments and then some soon.

    (LLWB1)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWoke updots
    -------------------------------------------


    Iíve woken up.
    The sun has risen but itís a cloudy day.
    A lesson has been learned but in the hardest way.
    With a cut and a bruise
    Like I had something to lose - oh oh
    I donít think I wanna stay here.

    Iíve woken up.
    I wanna live the last day again.
    Before I was aware of the debauchery
    Before I learned about he sin
    Back when I had you for a real friend.
    A real friend. Friend. Friend.

    But itís over now,
    Iíve woken up and canít sleep any more.
    You thumped me hard and now Iím broke and sore
    And I donít think I wanna stay here with that whore / in my thoughts

    Sunís up, moonís gone down
    And Iím fuckin sick of waiting around
    For a friend and a brother who never was there
    Youíre just a sore loser, I just donít care
    So go on, Screw off, go make your own way
    Iím waking up without you to bring me down
    Iíve got a fine lady, got a fine friend
    Already on the mend, gonna ge well
    Youíre just a sore loser / time to let it end
    Before you drag me back to hell

    Yes.
    Iím outta bed.
    Not gonna sleep my whole life through.
    Too many folks to see and things to do.
    I donít think Iím gonna stay here with you / in my head.
    In fact I honestly would rather be dead.

    Iím outta bed.
    Looking forward to what lies ahead.
    To a life full of loviní and of actual friends
    Who will sit and will pray and give up a whole day
    Just to listen to the sad things that I have to say -hey hey

    And weíll go into town and waste all of noon
    But it isnít a waste cause it was not spent with you
    They do they things God meant us all to do
    Live Love Learn and Regret, Forgive and Forget, too
    If I had to choose, and if I gotta gamble,
    on them I would bet / a lot
    And weíre gonna have fun, cause they are my family
    And I wish you had one / so you could see the things that I see
    What with all Iíve got

    Cause when I close my eyes tonight,
    Iím gonna shed a tear.
    Cause Iím happier with them
    Than I have been in yearsÖ

    Sunís down, moonís come back up
    Yet some how itís bright than it was at the start.




    Submitted on 2008-01-07 00:27:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Second stanza, fourth line, I think you meant "the" sin?

    Fourth or fifth stanza, about eighth line down, is it "get" or "age" well?

    Seventh stanza, third line down, "they do the things God meant us all to do" I believe was what you meant?

    Last stanza, "brighter" than it was at the start?

    Other than those few minor errors, this song really says a lot about how you view friendship...and those who truly are friends to you. I find myself agreeing with a lot of your concepts of a friend.
    | Posted on 2008-01-11 00:00:00 | by DemonicInk | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great peicce i am very impressed by your work. To say the least, you have a way with making words flow that is quite breath takeing.
    | Posted on 2008-01-07 00:00:00 | by Thirst4Serenity | [ Reply to This ]
      Again with the wow, Flynn. That was beautiful, and sad, inspirational, and happy in a way. Because sometimes, moving on is the only and the best thing that can be done. I congratulate you on the great work and only hope that I could write something like that someday.
    | Posted on 2008-01-07 00:00:00 | by Draumrkopa | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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