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    dots Submission Name: Damned and Tainteddots

    Author: 777sacrites777
    ASL Info:    24/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.06 - 343/189/83
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 774
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 755


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDamned and Tainteddots

    All the hurt you've ever felt,
    every word of ridicule
    has built up this rage,
    been hate's true fuel.

    But don't trap this fire inside,
    write your pain out in red.
    This is the only answer,
    the only way to clear your head.

    And as you bask in this pool,
    in this ocean of fears,
    this mixture you've poured
    of blood and tears

    just remember where it came from,
    who it was that damned your name,
    who tainted your self-image,
    who made you hang your head in shame.

    So one day you can repay
    back every single breath of hate,
    put them back in their place,
    and write out THEIR fate.

    Submitted on 2008-01-07 14:32:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "write your pain out in red."

    I really like that line. The poem is good although the layout could be improved to make your stanzas look equal....
    | Posted on 2008-01-08 00:00:00 | by Paradox | [ Reply to This ]
      ok,this was good,though im not going to worship it,lol,anyway,it was a good read,
    I did enjoy it and it gives a good use for hate,
    and shows how us writers use our emotions to paint pictures with our words,and shows how even negativity can be used in our craft,thank you,
    Spirit,AKA Diablo
    | Posted on 2008-01-07 00:00:00 | by Diablo Tapitio | [ Reply to This ]
      "So one day you can repay
    back every single breath of hate"

    "repay back" just seems a little redundant to me. Really, that whole last stanza just seems a little odd. Try to say the same thing in a different way.
    I like how the poem is overall. I like the whole writing out your pain and hatred type thing. I would never think to write a poem about writing about someone. So good job with that.
    | Posted on 2008-01-07 00:00:00 | by lovedeathsdeath | [ Reply to This ]

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