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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Your Boyfriend Wants Me (I Want Him, Too)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katana Ryoko
    ASL Info:    17/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 483/428/109
    Words: 123
    Class/Type: Poetry/Longing
    Total Views: 925
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 781



    Description:
       


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    dotsYour Boyfriend Wants Me (I Want Him, Too)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    So he wants me
    But he's with you

    He says he loves me
    Well, I love him, too

    He wants to be with me
    But he's with you

    He's broken my heart
    He says I broke his, too

    If he would just leave you
    Then he could have me

    He doesn't want to hurt you
    Instead, he hurts me

    I hate you for gettin in the way
    You hate me just the same

    I guess you think I'm losing
    Because he's with you

    Well, bitch, think again
    Cuz today he kissed me

    I have a piece of his heart
    That you'll never have

    And that small victory
    Is enough for me... for now




    Submitted on 2008-01-08 22:57:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow, I went through this for a year and a half. He was the first boy I fell in love with. My best friend told me to leave him alone, but she could see that I really loved him. But thats the best advice you can get. I know it's not easy, trust me, I know, but that's the best thing you can do.
    Now, about the poem itself, although it is very simple, it is very good. It doesn't seem to have as much imagery as I think you could put in, but I think you did very well on this poem.
    One thing that threw me off was your way the poem was written. The first 12 lines rhyme, but then you just stop. I thought I was off beat, and had to re-read it. Maybe you could make it all rhyme, or just do free verse. This is a wonderful poem.

    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-01-14 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      i've been in this position before...and it sucks but my best advice is forget him! if he won't leave her then [censored] him! antway good job on the write it has good flow...
    | Posted on 2008-01-13 00:00:00 | by suicidalacts72 | [ Reply to This ]


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