Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dark Angeldots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1030
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 601



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDark Angeldots
    -------------------------------------------


    Dark Angel
    Lady of night
    When moonlight shines
    She takes her flight.

    Looks untold
    Skin like cream
    Beauty so real
    It makes you scream.

    Lips so full
    A color so pale
    One kiss from these
    Your heart will fail.

    Eyes so black
    No color to see
    A hidden soul
    A mystery

    Hair so dark
    Like wings of raven
    Its silky caress
    Only leaves you craving.

    Her touch so intense
    One you adore
    Keeps you wanting
    Begging more.




    Submitted on 2008-01-09 10:19:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Hey!!! I met her. Maybe she's the one who gave me writers block. After being gone for a while, it's nice to see you got over your writer's overload. But back to the poem. The only thing I would change is in the last line; "Begging for more." Other than that, I'd leave it the same. But I believe Intricate1 is right that we all have a bit of her in us. However, who's to say that's a bad thing. I definately wouldn't mind seeing more of her. The Dark Angel of dreamer35717, truly a magnificent sight.

    I'll drop a line,
    The Bird
    | Posted on 2008-01-20 00:00:00 | by Swimming Bird | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It flowed nicely, the rhyme was consistant, and the details made the imagery fantastic. But... There wasn't alot of emotion. I think you should add a bit, make the reader feel as if you have experienced this beauty firsthand. Tasted the kiss but got away before the fatal end. Instead if just passing down the beauty one generation to another. (that's how it seems) Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    »MIss MIsery«
    | Posted on 2008-01-10 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, she sounds compellingly mysterious and enticingly evil. LOL

    Great description and it reads well. I can picture her in my mind.

    Maybe we all have a bit of her in us?

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2008-01-10 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    155666

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Linger written by saartha
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Incubus written by monad
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Giving written by jjd
    To written by SavedDragon
    In the end written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry