[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Dark Angeldots

    Author: dreamer37517
    ASL Info:    25/F/Bama
    Elite Ratio:    3.82 - 161/149/49
    Words: 82
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1264
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 601


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDark Angeldots

    Dark Angel
    Lady of night
    When moonlight shines
    She takes her flight.

    Looks untold
    Skin like cream
    Beauty so real
    It makes you scream.

    Lips so full
    A color so pale
    One kiss from these
    Your heart will fail.

    Eyes so black
    No color to see
    A hidden soul
    A mystery

    Hair so dark
    Like wings of raven
    Its silky caress
    Only leaves you craving.

    Her touch so intense
    One you adore
    Keeps you wanting
    Begging more.

    Submitted on 2008-01-09 10:19:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Hey!!! I met her. Maybe she's the one who gave me writers block. After being gone for a while, it's nice to see you got over your writer's overload. But back to the poem. The only thing I would change is in the last line; "Begging for more." Other than that, I'd leave it the same. But I believe Intricate1 is right that we all have a bit of her in us. However, who's to say that's a bad thing. I definately wouldn't mind seeing more of her. The Dark Angel of dreamer35717, truly a magnificent sight.

    I'll drop a line,
    The Bird
    | Posted on 2008-01-20 00:00:00 | by Swimming Bird | [ Reply to This ]
      This was written very well. It flowed nicely, the rhyme was consistant, and the details made the imagery fantastic. But... There wasn't alot of emotion. I think you should add a bit, make the reader feel as if you have experienced this beauty firsthand. Tasted the kiss but got away before the fatal end. Instead if just passing down the beauty one generation to another. (that's how it seems) Keep up the awesome work, and I'll keep reading

    »MIss MIsery«
    | Posted on 2008-01-10 00:00:00 | by MinervaBlu | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, she sounds compellingly mysterious and enticingly evil. LOL

    Great description and it reads well. I can picture her in my mind.

    Maybe we all have a bit of her in us?

    Nice work!
    | Posted on 2008-01-10 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]