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    dots Submission Name: The 3 Fathersdots

    Author: BlueTorcher
    Elite Ratio:    4.67 - 79/97/96
    Words: 146
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1063
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 987

       This is a poem that is me all the way through so not that much critique . Okay?.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe 3 Fathersdots

    I have three fathers
    Unfortunatly I do

    But unlike you
    Mine our mortals
    And sin they do

    One tries so hard
    To enter my life
    But I never let him in

    Instead I cause him pain
    And suffering
    To deep to heal
    I stop down on him

    Hoping that this time
    He'll pack up and go away

    Hoping that he'll finally realize
    That I know longer play
    His game

    The second
    Well he's a real "player"

    Changing his game
    And his name
    Thinking that without me
    He'll finally be free

    Last & not least
    The father I adore
    The one who has opened
    Up the doors

    And closed so many too
    He keeps me safe
    And content at heart

    Its just a shame
    That soon

    We will be far apart

    Submitted on 2008-01-11 17:32:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I really liked the ending and can relate to a father being far away. I also like the begining which is very catching. Thank you for sharing a poem that is personal.
    | Posted on 2008-01-13 00:00:00 | by ashik | [ Reply to This ]
      First impression is "semi-literate" but you don't want to hear that. So my other first impression is "Great!" because your story about three fathers (who could all have been my own father except there was only one of him!) is a rich and accurately-told sharing. That makes it a very successful poem with me.
    | Posted on 2008-01-11 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

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