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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Crowsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razor2TheRosary
    ASL Info:    24 - f - Philly
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 238/127/51
    Words: 233
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1182
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1480



    Description:
       I don't like this one... or maybe it's just the subject that I despise.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCrowsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Why can't you haunt me the way you used to
    when I stopped breathing for hours each night?
    Maybe we have been dead for centuries,
    or maybe we have never lived at all,
    but I know what you do
    while I sleep without grace in my coffin.
    She may embrace your naivety, but
    never again will I.

    Why can't you choke me the way you used to
    when there wasn't too much blood in my mouth?
    Maybe the crows aren't coming this time,
    or maybe they've been here since yesterday,
    but your sins follow me
    while I grasp diabolical rapture.
    She may dissect your lips with her tongue, but
    never again will I.

    Why can't you singe me the way you used to
    when fire didn't leave repulsive scars?
    Maybe the same dream is still repeating,
    or maybe I haven't had it at all,
    but I wake up screaming
    while you paint your fucking face with laughter.
    She may smile, thinking you're in love, but
    never again will I.

    Why can't you slap me the way you used to
    when I prayed for your hand to veil face?
    Maybe "my river of tears has run dry..."
    or maybe my eyes are filled with maggots,
    but I step through cracked glass
    while you keep throwing more in front of me.
    She may chew it with sincerity, but
    never again will I.




    Submitted on 2008-01-12 02:28:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is great!!!,as someone who can find the art in the grotesqe,and the serenity in death,I do believe I would call this beutiful.
    maybe not flowers and horses beutiful,(I shiver with disgust at the thought of a flower being buetiful,well I do like red roses when the decompose.
    I love your work,and I have tried to comment but everytime I do I get lost in your dark stansas,you have an unexplainable talent for painting pictures with your writing,"although I would say you would have to appreciate the death and darkness of your work,I most certanly do"


    now on to my favorite parts,I love the repitition!
    and how its repetitive without being repetitive,if that makes scence.
    I also love the line "you may paint your face with [censored] laughter"
    to me that means maybe someone is maybe making light of your suffering,at least that is what I thought,
    I love how each stanza ends with Never again will I,
    that is great,it is sort of empowering,as if to say do what you will I am over it now!
    I also like how it explains the confusion of the situation with lines like "Maybe we have been dead for centuries,Or maybe we have never lived at all"
    Or "Maybe the crows arent coming this time,
    or maybe theyve been here since yesturday"
    I love this one!!!
    my favorite!
    thank you
    Diablo AKA Spirithorse
    | Posted on 2008-01-14 00:00:00 | by Diablo Tapitio | [ Reply to This ]
      I could see Slipknot singing this. Haha. Or something equally demonic.


    The single curse word ruined that stanza for me. It just has no purpose, besides conveying the anger of the speaker. But trust me, you do that well enough without the curse. Haha.
    | Posted on 2008-01-12 00:00:00 | by Secrets Unheard | [ Reply to This ]
      why don't you like this one? honestly, it's my favorite of yours cuz it's the perfect vampire love song!
    | Posted on 2008-01-12 00:00:00 | by scissorhands | [ Reply to This ]


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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
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