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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hopedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/215
    Words: 94
    Class/Type: Poetry/Gothic
    Total Views: 324
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 603



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHopedots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look in the mirror
    and I want to vomit,
    for the first time.
    I see all the ugliness
    that I''ve tried to hide!

    So I break the mirror
    and burn it down
    the flames burn like my soul;
    that's if, I even have one!

    I take the razor
    and remind myself
    why I never asked for help.
    this reminder should last
    longer then the last one

    the blood forms a puddle
    in which;
    I can see a new image
    it reflects my dying hope;
    that's if I even have some!




    Submitted on 2008-01-12 15:57:57     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with silent death. It just wasn't that good. Simon cowell wouldn't rip too bad into you, but maybe a little.
    It was just very basic, and didn't develop much, though you did tell a quick story. Maybe develop the reasons toward feeling that was, and work on structure, and you could turn "C-" work into "A" work.
    | Posted on 2008-08-02 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      I like that you just put everything you feel out there, you laid it all out there, saying everything you had to say. As for the writing and the form of the writing, it wasn't the greatest but self expression is good, as long as it helps you.
    | Posted on 2008-01-14 00:00:00 | by Caity | [ Reply to This ]
      mmkay semi-quick one then? lol
    I should be doing schoolstuff but whatever :]
    this is funner :).

    k...well I realize you haven't been writing that much and stuff; but this is by no means your best stuff.
    Not in form either, but I don't really care about that all that much. I mean as far as passion, interest, and just general writing skills goes.
    It's not horrible...
    I liked it, and it was relatable (maybe not now, but I remember a time when it was relatable)...but still....
    it wasn't fantastic. it didn't stand out from a lot of writing lately.


    I love reading your stuff though =]
    && I miss it a lot
    so you should write more .
    <3 byes; ttyl. <3
    | Posted on 2008-01-14 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]



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