Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: oratory of the clam in sunshinedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: blackbird
    ASL Info:    31/male/reykjavik iceland
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 194/328/300
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 688
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 991



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsoratory of the clam in sunshinedots
    -------------------------------------------


    oratory of the clam
    in sunshine:

    dull breakers,
    quell your sparkling quarks
    from me
    for i am an island
    inside the island
    of my under-pearl.

    i've gnashed histories
    pubescent flesh for you
    and your sun
    so forceful
    with my lover's moon.

    dull breakers,
    challenge not
    the early morning bread
    of meat.
    instead,
    slosh wayward
    & flail hope like rivers mud.

    my teeth
    are yet evolving
    so fear me not.
    & the faithless wonderings
    of ill tides fall upon me.
    i am skin.

    night feeds me
    while I sleep.
    i'm inside you here
    where mother pushes
    like a clock.
    & while she tic tic tics
    the ocean falls.

    i'm breathless
    here in the sunshine
    where i can not breathe...




    Submitted on 2008-01-12 21:02:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Wow man I don't really know what to say about this one! It makes me feel like I fell asleep on the beach & had a far-away dream. I was a little confused at some points, like I didn't really understand what you meant by 'bread of meat' but the imagery was sufficient to convey that dreamy, nostalgic feeling. Plus I'm a big fan of the ocean & sea life (as topics). Good stuff!
    | Posted on 2008-01-13 00:00:00 | by Mark Huntsman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    155866

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Redemption written by poetotoe
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Shi written by ShyOne
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Reliquary of Writ written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love written by saartha
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    To the Devil and Candle written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deep Into A World Of Despair written by DeathTone
    Etiquette written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry