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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: "Surprise, Surprise..."dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Drifting Star
    ASL Info:    19/F/Somewhere
    Elite Ratio:    2.02 - 22/101/73
    Words: 273
    Class/Type: Lyrics/
    Total Views: 1125
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1867



    Description:
       My first ever song posted here and it's on the fly, thrown from the moment. I'm in tears right now and they're falling all over my keyboard. I can barely see the screen and my chest hurts.

    This is dedicated to one of the truest friends I have and the fall of what was and the rise of what is to be. No matter what I say in the matter, it can't be underdone. The future is changing and I'm left behind.

    What is left of us now?

    -Far From Elite.

    -Sennie.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots"Surprise, Surprise..."dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Out of the dark, like a punch to the gut--
    sweeping in on a torrent that robs my breath;
    I blink back tears and force a smile,
    forced to try and wish him well.

    Surprise, Surprise--didn't see it coming;
    shoulda known it would someday--
    Surprise, Surprise--didn't see it coming;
    shoulda known that it wouldn't last.
    Shoulda seen the fall on the horizon,
    zooming toward us on sun's rays;
    Surprise, Surprise--new times are dawning;
    Sad to say goodbye to better days.

    I'm selfish, of course--I know it already,
    and I'm reaching for you with open arms;
    Come to us when you are ready
    And it'll go back to the days before...

    ...When you were free and I was in love
    and we were all in love with life--
    But listen to me, the begging fiend,
    trying to rob you of your joy.

    Shame on me, who am I--?
    to try and take away what you have now;
    Stupid foolish child in love,
    Reaching for a dream dangled up too high.

    Surprise, Surprise--didn't see it coming;
    shoulda known it would someday--
    Surprise, Surprise--didn't see it coming;
    shoulda known that it wouldn't last.
    Shoulda seen the fall on the horizon,
    zooming toward us on the sun's rays;
    Surprise, Surprise--new times are dawning;
    Sad to say goodbye to better days.

    I'll slink into the shadows and let the tears flow--
    To hide them from you and you'll never know;
    I'm happy for you, I say, but the dark knows I lie,
    The truth is plain to see, fractured in my eyes.

    Ah...What an unpleasant event,
    Surprise, Surprise...


    **




    Submitted on 2008-01-13 12:24:20     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well constructed, you make fine verse. I like it anyway. I'm sorry you had such a sad event to make a poem about, and I hope you will get just as emotional with enjoying something or other very much tomorrow or next month.

    For another poem another day about the same thing, I reckon you need a trope, metaphor, figure of speech, symbol, whatever I'm supposed to call that, you need some imagery that will get to me harder and deeper than the plain words description in these lines. But I'm extra hard to get to, anyway so that is not really a criticism!
    | Posted on 2008-01-13 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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