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    dots Submission Name: It's all the samedots

    Author: mekisha4ever
    ASL Info:    39yespleaseNV.
    Elite Ratio:    1.58 - 38/36/47
    Words: 185
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1134
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 929

       life's pain

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIt's all the samedots

    if It's all the same 2 you I will just leave
    because this life that I live is all the same
    were can I find the change
    that I so desperately seek
    I have so much to give
    all this life can do is take
    and it is making me break down and cry
    I am left with no were to turn and nothing
    to claim but my name Iv had since birth
    this life is giving nothing back
    I am only left with a lack
    here in my heart I want to love this life
    only to find that we have been left behind
    and there is no looking back
    has the time come to just lay down and die
    and It's all the same over and over
    I give with out any pay back
    it has me way off track
    for now I feel empty in side
    from my pain I can no longer hide
    the time has come and gone
    and It's all the same

    Submitted on 2008-01-14 02:39:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      i actually kinda agree with chaos_bite. I write them a lot too, and lately i've been trying not to. But depressed themes are becoming overrated. I'm not saying being depressed is overreated, because i know i am also. But some people are becoming bored with these types of poetry. And they aren't holding their value, with the people who wrote them. Try changing some of your peoms up, give it a little spice. In this poem you basically talk about one thing and i kinda had to force myself to finish reading it, bring some character in it. Describe how you feel and how angry people make you. I would like to see that. You will get better with time.

    | Posted on 2008-01-14 00:00:00 | by WhY-dO-yOu-CrY | [ Reply to This ]
      The rhyme scheme seems very forced, and you need to work on grammar. Other than that, I don't mean to be harsh, but knock off the depressed woe is me thing and you might come up with some good poetry. Life isn't going to hand you everything on a silver platter, you have to do what you want. You'll be a lot happier that way.
    | Posted on 2008-01-14 00:00:00 | by chaos_bite | [ Reply to This ]

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