Yea I agree with the previous comment slightly. I think some of the imagery is tweeked to a point where it is hard to see entirely. Plus it seemed you said "Fly on..." numerous times which made it a bit repetitive. I think the limerick in general would just flow better if the images were more fluid and streamed together.
You dont have to take my suggestions if you dont agree, just putting my point in there.
Hmmm. I thought it was interesting that you wrote about a dark butterfly. I mean its like a Thomas Kincade stereotype about the beautiful butterfly.
But without dark butterfly's, how could there be bright ones, I suppose.
And they should fly on high, regardless. That is in their nature..
So much is made of color in this world. The black ones can't play with the yellow ones and the red ones should be eliminated entirely?
I liked the line"the pearly eyes of gray."
I'm not sure that "out of tune" is necessary-maybe that butterfly just dances to a different drummer-exotic, maybe.
Anyways, an interesting and richly imaged writing!
Submission Name: Dark Butterfly
