to parties sleeping far below
snug in your blankets not of snow
pray tell of monsters such as we
to scare the children with some glee
and never fret that you should cower
above your ashes to our tower
in keeping with the legends old
who would have guessed that we'd be cold
gravely desire we company
put on a pot of boiling tea
to slack our thirst and wet our tongue
yea worship forever the bung
yet grapes of wrath are all we wrest
for counted those among the best
shall join our fete mora complete
thought resting deep beneath your feet
for mighty figures once germane
compose de rigor mortis fain
as blood does jell so spirits rise
it seems a worthy compromise
to join your others throughout life
and no, we'll never tell your wife
should we dispise if you are blest?
welcome poor soul to Ever Rest
i thought of Oedipus Rex and the chorus at the end...
something to the effect of "let no man presume that his status or wealth will protect him from pain and death"
it happens to all of us...i like the reference to Tea....sort of reminded me of a ...Tea and Crumpets ---get together--being proper and such--high society..
but
no matter who or what we are...we will all have tea or not when it's all said and done...our ashes will be resting below the feet of the living...just like everyone else's.
Is it wrong to giggle as I read this? I'm not sure if that's the feeling you were aiming for but I felt there was an almost teasing feeling to it. The lines about scaring children and the ending especially.
A nice welcome to death :) almost cheery. Correction, I have to say it was cheery. The rhymes flowed well, which lead to the overall piece flowing well.
The subject matter of this really reminded me of something, but it might have been because I looked at your profile picture for a minute, and I was imagining that guy as reading this. Whatever it was, it was enjoyable :P
Thanks for sharing it, i'll have to go check out some of your other work now.
The beginning and the end are both clear thoughts seeping through my fingers but the rest sounds continued, like a person running, and then slowing to a stop at the end, (Which I kind of like.) However, I did not understand,
'yea worship forever the bung'
??
keep up,
-dancer
as blood does jell so spirits rise
it seems a worthy compromise.
DEEP!!!
May be, it is looking at life and death with a lighter perspective. Also, this poem is a beautiful combination of craftsmanship and true, authentic feelings. You look at life after life, that seems to be nearly as funny and meaningless as life on this side. Perhaps, it is a joke on absurdity of both here and there.
It is interesting, on the whole. It was quite an experience to go through it.
ever rest(everest) do i detect a pun there? well written and rhymed, nice creepy story. but not for little children i think. drinking tee on judgement day and then getting your share of the grapes of wrath. i liked that.
very enjoyable.
thanks for the read
bye
Your poem is really, really good. Great job. I'm glad you shared it with everyone on elite skills.
It sort of leaves you hanging as you read it. Like a suspensful story. I couldn't take my eyes off of it until the very end.
Nothing needs to be changed or anything. It's perfect the way it is.
Great job. Keep up the excellent work and keep on writing. I really enjoyed your work a lot.
I will try to read more of your work if you have some more. Great job.
"gravely desire we company
put on a pot of boiling tea
to slack our thirst and wet our tongue"
It is written with a great poet view. It also flows nicely and has rhyme, which makes the piece even more amazing and different. Your poem is unique and completely original.
"and no, we'll never tell your wife
should we dispise if you are blest?
welcome poor soul to Ever Rest"
This is also written beautifully and it puts some sort of understanding on death.
Once again, excellent piece. It's beautifully written and flows nicely. Keep up the excellent work.
This is an interesting perspective on the end of life and the beginning of the everafter.
Its pleasantly macabre. Kinda sorta like a singsong ghost story.
I enjoyed the whole of it...but, I did trip over this bit:
"gravely desire we company".
Dunno if thats because my mind insists on seeing 'we' before 'desire' and I trip on that, or if its just an awkward wording. I'll gladly leave that judgement to you.
Thanks for a fun read.
Submission Name: Ever Rest
