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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Unveiled dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bas
    ASL Info:    24/f/somewhere...
    Elite Ratio:    4.94 - 42/48/35
    Words: 126
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 176
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 815



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsUnveiled dots
    -------------------------------------------



    Behind the walls
    that hold,
    like a stone
    lays still,
    observing, just observing
    with eyes hidden
    to the world

    Reflection shows
    your hopes your dreams,
    Not me not mine,
    Though you may think

    A ray of light
    may shine on through
    but shadows the deep,
    the heart of who I am


    A little piece here
    Another one there
    And I'm scattered like pollen
    On a warm summer’s day


    So dig with your shovel
    and with all of your might.
    The delusion
    of knowledge won’t escape you now.
    But the keeper of secrets
    Is the one unknown
    And the keeper of secrets
    is the essence I hold.




    Submitted on 2008-01-15 17:03:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Your poem was written beautifully. It flows ever so nicely. It has a tiny hint of rhyme. It has beautiful structure too.

    "Behind the walls
    that hold,
    like a stone
    lays still,
    observing, just observing
    with eyes hidden
    to the world"
    This stanza shows that you want/are hiding from someone or something. That you are "Behind the walls" and observing, just observing with eyes hidden to the world"
    That you are watching from a far to see whats in store or something.

    "Reflection shows
    your hopes your dreams,
    Not me not mine,
    Though you may think"
    This stanza shows/tells that your love or friends dreams are unfolding but, yours are just "locked in the corner" sort of speak.

    "A ray of light
    may shine on through
    but shadows the deep,
    the heart of who I am"
    This stanza says that when everyone else is shining, you feel like you're in a corner or a shadow.

    Well, I loved your poem. I don't know if I got the right meaning but, the way I interpreted it, I LOVED it. I couldn't seem to stop reading it until the very end. Great poem. I loved it. Keep writing and keep up the excellent work. I'm going to add it to my favorites. Great job.

    ~Samantha~
    | Posted on 2008-01-15 00:00:00 | by The lost child | [ Reply to This ]



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