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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Just Don't Knowdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Katana Ryoko
    ASL Info:    17/F/Cali
    Elite Ratio:    2.86 - 483/428/109
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 899
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 679



    Description:
       Hmmm.....


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Just Don't Knowdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wish it was only us two
    But I know that it can't happen
    That it will never come true
    Cuz you're with someone else
    And I'm always looking for something new

    Know that the love I have for you
    Will never change and never die
    I may get mad at you for an hour or two
    But I'm just losing my temper
    Around you I can't keep my cool

    Staying friends with you is hard
    The attraction between us so strong
    I can't get over it, don't know where to start
    Cuz I'm not sure if I even want to let go
    Cuz I like the hold you have over my heart




    Submitted on 2008-01-15 18:57:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I must say that one ordinarily wouldn't know how to comment on a piece like this.
    Frankly, nor do I, but here goes anyways.

    This is a remarkably forward piece which would be best as lyrics, than merely a poem (there is nothing wrong with poetry, but I feel that this needs something "more").

    And not to be nitpicky, but "Cuz" (in that form and spelling) refers to one's cousin, whereas 'cause is appropriate. I say that because it just doesn't fit in how your poem is.

    I appologize if my criticism was harsh, but I encourage you to keep writing.
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by whiteshadows | [ Reply to This ]


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