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the other way


Author: LameMansTerms
ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713 /1012 /165
Words: 114
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1303
Average Vote:    5.0000
Bytes: 751



Description:


just blah blah running the other way.... I guess!?
maybe--lol


the other way



The other way

I can’t keep those promises
That went right down the drain
The same promises
You made just for today
When you realize that you care
I wont be there
When you see
That your world is falling down
I wont be around

Yeah you had your chance
But you just threw it all away
It was our dance
We would have still been dancing today

Just yell my name
And I would have been there
MIKE---you say
But NOW you wont find me anywhere
You’ll see me running
The other way
And I’ll be so strong
Cause of all the things
That did me wrong

lamemansterms




Submitted on 2008-01-15 20:38:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I think it's a successful poem, you told me the tale strongly and I could sympathize.

One thing about the ending - the last three lines - feels not as strong as the rest of the poem. It's a weak ending ... but that is an artistic criticism and maybe not as important as writing exactly what you mean?
| Posted on 2008-01-15 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


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