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    dots Submission Name: the other waydots

    Author: LameMansTerms
    ASL Info:    36/M/Hermosa Beach, Ca
    Elite Ratio:    4.31 - 713/1012/165
    Words: 114
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1070
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 745

       just blah blah running the other way.... I guess!?

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe other waydots

    The other way

    I canít keep those promises
    That went right down the drain
    The same promises
    You made just for today
    When you realize that you care
    I wont be there
    When you see
    That your world is falling down
    I wont be around

    Yeah you had your chance
    But you just threw it all away
    It was our dance
    We would have still been dancing today

    Just yell my name
    And I would have been there
    MIKE---you say
    But NOW you wont find me anywhere
    Youíll see me running
    The other way
    And Iíll be so strong
    Cause of all the things
    That did me wrong


    Submitted on 2008-01-15 20:38:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think it's a successful poem, you told me the tale strongly and I could sympathize.

    One thing about the ending - the last three lines - feels not as strong as the rest of the poem. It's a weak ending ... but that is an artistic criticism and maybe not as important as writing exactly what you mean?
    | Posted on 2008-01-15 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

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