Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heart of Illusions?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 747
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 571



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeart of Illusions?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Through shallow ends, bridge the vines
    Conceptual growth unlike the kind
    Of regular beats in a regular heart of a regular girl

    Proposed canaries and parakeets, in silent air
    Choke on grief, and jealousy steals their stare
    In the heat of the moment in a day in the time of our lives

    Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands
    A smile on a face made all the better by changing eyes

    And unspoken words tell me all I need to know




    Submitted on 2008-01-15 21:24:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very interesting... kinda a picasso feeling, but with words..
    | Posted on 2008-03-16 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that writing "(plus smiley faces)" kind of throws the poem off esp since it's in the last line which, without it, would be much more powerful. Overall though, I enjoyed the poem and choice of words.

    good work
    | Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree 100% with the guy bellow me.

    My favorite part was
    "Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands"

    That was fantastic.
    I dont really like how you put
    "(plus smiley faces)"
    In the last line,it just threw it off in my opinion. But its only my opinion.
    Great write
    -Safire <3
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it! at first, i didnt really understand what you were trying to say but once i thought about it for a second it came to me. great write.
    | Posted on 2008-01-16 00:00:00 | by Big_Country | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156016

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Lilitu written by endlessgame23
    Angel Eyes written by poetotoe
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (6) written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Still Perfectly Flawed written by armand
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Cover written by saartha
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Carry written by saartha
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    i've missed written by mysalvation
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Dream written by closetpoet
    winners circle written by ShyOne
    I, Plutarch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry