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    dots Submission Name: Heart of Illusions?dots

    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 765
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 571


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeart of Illusions?dots

    Through shallow ends, bridge the vines
    Conceptual growth unlike the kind
    Of regular beats in a regular heart of a regular girl

    Proposed canaries and parakeets, in silent air
    Choke on grief, and jealousy steals their stare
    In the heat of the moment in a day in the time of our lives

    Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands
    A smile on a face made all the better by changing eyes

    And unspoken words tell me all I need to know

    Submitted on 2008-01-15 21:24:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      very interesting... kinda a picasso feeling, but with words..
    | Posted on 2008-03-16 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that writing "(plus smiley faces)" kind of throws the poem off esp since it's in the last line which, without it, would be much more powerful. Overall though, I enjoyed the poem and choice of words.

    good work
    | Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree 100% with the guy bellow me.

    My favorite part was
    "Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands"

    That was fantastic.
    I dont really like how you put
    "(plus smiley faces)"
    In the last line,it just threw it off in my opinion. But its only my opinion.
    Great write
    -Safire <3
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it! at first, i didnt really understand what you were trying to say but once i thought about it for a second it came to me. great write.
    | Posted on 2008-01-16 00:00:00 | by Big_Country | [ Reply to This ]

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