Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heart of Illusions?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 792
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 571



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeart of Illusions?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Through shallow ends, bridge the vines
    Conceptual growth unlike the kind
    Of regular beats in a regular heart of a regular girl

    Proposed canaries and parakeets, in silent air
    Choke on grief, and jealousy steals their stare
    In the heat of the moment in a day in the time of our lives

    Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands
    A smile on a face made all the better by changing eyes

    And unspoken words tell me all I need to know




    Submitted on 2008-01-15 21:24:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very interesting... kinda a picasso feeling, but with words..
    | Posted on 2008-03-16 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that writing "(plus smiley faces)" kind of throws the poem off esp since it's in the last line which, without it, would be much more powerful. Overall though, I enjoyed the poem and choice of words.

    good work
    | Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree 100% with the guy bellow me.

    My favorite part was
    "Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands"

    That was fantastic.
    I dont really like how you put
    "(plus smiley faces)"
    In the last line,it just threw it off in my opinion. But its only my opinion.
    Great write
    -Safire <3
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it! at first, i didnt really understand what you were trying to say but once i thought about it for a second it came to me. great write.
    | Posted on 2008-01-16 00:00:00 | by Big_Country | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156016

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Linger written by saartha
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Giving written by jjd
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Bond written by saartha
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wavelength written by saartha
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    This written by Chelebel
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Push written by JanePlane
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    new moon written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry