Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Heart of Illusions?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 95
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 810
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 571



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHeart of Illusions?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Through shallow ends, bridge the vines
    Conceptual growth unlike the kind
    Of regular beats in a regular heart of a regular girl

    Proposed canaries and parakeets, in silent air
    Choke on grief, and jealousy steals their stare
    In the heat of the moment in a day in the time of our lives

    Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands
    A smile on a face made all the better by changing eyes

    And unspoken words tell me all I need to know




    Submitted on 2008-01-15 21:24:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      very interesting... kinda a picasso feeling, but with words..
    | Posted on 2008-03-16 00:00:00 | by Vampiric Death | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree that writing "(plus smiley faces)" kind of throws the poem off esp since it's in the last line which, without it, would be much more powerful. Overall though, I enjoyed the poem and choice of words.

    good work
    | Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by jaramae | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree 100% with the guy bellow me.

    My favorite part was
    "Tabs play alone, words break into strands
    In the dead of the night, lying in illusioned hands"

    That was fantastic.
    I dont really like how you put
    "(plus smiley faces)"
    In the last line,it just threw it off in my opinion. But its only my opinion.
    Great write
    -Safire <3
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by girly101 | [ Reply to This ]
      i like it! at first, i didnt really understand what you were trying to say but once i thought about it for a second it came to me. great write.
    | Posted on 2008-01-16 00:00:00 | by Big_Country | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156016

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    This written by Chelebel
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Broken Promises written by S.A.M.
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    Some of it written by Daniel Barlow

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry