Looking back at my childhood today,
I see that I was nothing more than an escape goat
I see now that nobody had my best interests in mind!
A toy to my Step Father I was (with strings attached of course)
He’d use me for his own sick pleasures
While buying my silence
Telling me things he knew I wanted and needed to hear.
Taking advantage of my innocence’s and essentially taking my innocence’s away.
Nobody cared of my feelings of my well being.
Nobody told me to Run
To hide…Where to go…
All they cared about was using me to get what they all felt that they “needed”
Someone to control… My Mother figured it’d be fun and eventful.
Always trying to make me out to be something I wasn’t…
Using me to get the material items she so longed for and felt she deserved.
I was simply the ROPE between the two of them…
It officially became a game of “Tug-A-War” at one point in their relationship.
Step Father VS Mother
To my Biological Father
I was an unwanted child
Whom he quote
"Has no desire to get to know”
Yet as a little girl I shed numerous tears for this who was and still is my Biological Father
He’d show up when he'd feel like it
Even more so when he left
And NOT for just
But several years on end.
So in the beginning all I am and ever was an unwanted, mistreated, and used child, longing for a Father Figure I was never meant to have.
Now being the young lady I am today I realize the truth and I accept my past…
As just that My Past… Nothing More… and Nothing Less