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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Stake a Claimdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: saartha
    ASL Info:    27/F/US
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 230/385/134
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 779
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 609



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsStake a Claimdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Thunder clings to your landscapes.
    I am Clark, finding rivers
    and tracing their source
    to Kansas, where some
    blue-painted squaw drums
    ceaselessly against the sky,
    dancing on one foot, then
    the next. Right-left, right-
    left, right on time every time
    as the earth trembles in response
    to each warm sky-celebration.

    Let me discover you. Let me
    find your nooks and crannies
    and leave my mark on your plains
    so that even after you break off
    and float out to sea, you will have
    been mine first.




    Submitted on 2008-01-16 12:54:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i remmember a song called "looking for lewis and clarke", about two explorers who went missing on an expedition somewhere.

    i liked the poem, some realy great images especially in the first stanza.

    blue-painted squaw drums
    ceaselessly against the sky,
    dancing on one foot,

    i really liked those lines.
    thanks for sharing
    take care
    ger
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]
      i didn't want to be boring with my comments and just let you know how absolutely high i just got with this poem. i adore traveling and the vastness of lands and discovering places people have never been to before. the feeling of being the first there is... indescribable.

    I don't have any nitpicking or anything for this poem. It went well off separating the sentences to fit them nicely into two stanzas. Honestly, I didn't pay attention to the flow, because your words just enraptured me more.

    i'm faving this, btw.

    sweet*peas
    | Posted on 2008-01-17 00:00:00 | by Sweet Peas | [ Reply to This ]
      Great poem. It flows nicely and sounds great.

    "Thunder clings to your landscapes.
    I am Clark, finding rivers
    and tracing their source
    to Kansas, where some
    blue-painted squaw drums
    ceaselessly against the sky,
    dancing on one foot, then
    the next. Right-left, right-
    left, right on time every time
    as the earth trembles in response
    to each warm sky-celebration."

    The first stanza tells about someone exploring. Someone looking for something new and exciting. It shows earths beautys and wonderful sights. It has a great use of imagery. Great poem. I loved it. Keep up the great work. Keep writing and keep on writing. Your talented.

    ~Samantha~

    | Posted on 2008-01-16 00:00:00 | by The lost child | [ Reply to This ]


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