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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: To My Mate (with love)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DemonicInk
    ASL Info:    21/F/Gypsie
    Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 29/10/28
    Words: 131
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 204
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 853



    Description:
       I wrote this while my husband was at work to express the depths of my love for him.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTo My Mate (with love)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Every day leaving me farther behind
    Time slipping past without a sound
    24/7 need to rewind
    As for this tension, with it I am bound

    Don't know what to do
    Each person I trust sliding away
    In desperation, I turn to you
    Hoping against hope you're here to stay

    Eyes alight with a strange desire
    You beg for my touch
    To burn you like fire
    Twisted as I am, I withhold that crutch

    Taunting you, tainting you into a towering blaze
    Building the flames of attraction still higher
    Everything under my gaze becoming a haze
    As together we twist upon this heavenly pyre

    Til at last we be sated
    Beyond touch of heaven or hell
    Twas luck that we mated
    Else would have been love's death knell




    Submitted on 2008-01-16 15:04:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is interesting, not the usual sort of love poem or romantic piece that you get. It was both a little angry sounding towards your spouse, but also like that anger or spite was simply a part of your relationship, and that you also loved each other deeply enough for it to not affect your relationship. THis also seems to be a bit more about sexual passion than romantic love, a more selfish and needy side of a relationship rather than freely giving and open.

    Overall I think you did well, and I don't see and spelling or grammatical errors. Good work on this, hopefully I will see more of your writing in the future.
    | Posted on 2008-01-18 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
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