There's nothing more that I can really say,
Perhaps ramble on about your eyes
But that would just romanticize the situation
When the truth is in between my thighs
that verse was, simply put, awesome
as said before, the bluntness and simplicity lends itself very well to the subject matter - but it still flows well and it's an easy read. The only minor minor minor thing that is simply a matter of taste is the ellipses at the end... it feels like it should have a stronger ending to me, just a period. The End. Rawr. .
This is well written, niether too flowery, but also not too blunt. I appreciate the sentiment here, its what originally drew me to your writing. You write plainly, but with a slight edge of prose, which is very important to pieces like this.
like you said yesterday, we may not be friends, but I still appreciate your writing style.