[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Love in the snow of summerdots

    Author: emoxday
    Elite Ratio:    3.15 - 113/123/144
    Words: 284
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1568

       Ehh, the title is a little different... Neon Blonde - "Headlines" inspired me to write this short story. Currently working on one about immortal sins(you'll find out later lol). I know there's some parts that need to be corrected.
    lalala. That was fun. I got pretty teary-eyed writing this(don't ask me why, I'm wierd like that) It was probably the song. I dare you to listen to the song and read it. uhhuh. enjoy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLove in the snow of summerdots

    "I loved her, I loved her so much and she never knew it. I wish she did, I wish I told her when I could. But I can't it's to late, and I'll always be to late. I wish I was there, a second to late, why am I always late!" broken sentences whispered breathlessly to himself while he stumbled through the snow. A white forest he ran through, trying to escape the memories embedded in his mind. Frozen tears clung to his cheeks though he never noticed them. His destination was closer, getting closer. He gasped seeing it all again, her beauty enclosed in an ice wall. He moaned with raw sorrow and ran towards the frozen lake.

    He saw her staring at him, happiness was finally in her eyes. Pure bliss that he'd never seen before. He didn't care if she was happy, he wanted to feel her warm fingers once again. He told himself he could make her happy, he could make her happy once again. He knew he couldn't but he still tried, still lied to himself. Clawing at the ice, he tried to free her from her paradise. It was in vain she was leaving.

    "Nooo!" He moaned trying to steal her from death.
    "No no no" he whispered through sobs, stopping like before.
    "nooo." he whispered before the ice below him cracked and broke beneath him. He smiled, embracing the phantom of her. He freed her; or so he thought.

    He freed himself from the pain of her. And the sun rose above the desolate forest ready to bring bliss(summer) once again.

    Submitted on 2008-01-18 21:42:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Commencement written by Ramneet
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Legends written by poetotoe
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    This written by Chelebel
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Stretto written by saartha
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ME written by jjd
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]