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    dots Submission Name: Insanitydots

    Author: Skinwalker
    Elite Ratio:    2.62 - 36/57/28
    Words: 90
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 615
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 556

       A haiku and a poem with a little thing "hidden" in the first of each line. Enjoy.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    The crawling nightmare,

    which pursues me to and fro,

    I gladly accept.

    I fly through the air on a winged horse,

    Now I watch the world fly by.

    Summoning my inner joy and remorse

    And my life and soul pass by my side

    Nicking my arm and leaving its stain

    I feel like leaping, yet I restrain

    Taking it all in, every last drop of pain

    Yet I am only in my padded room again.

    Submitted on 2008-01-19 01:05:51     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i really like this poem.. the imagery that you used really helped to put your point across. to me, it seems like you are stuck in a reality of hell, but yearn for an outlet. and when you finally find that outlet, you are pulled straight back to the hell that you must call life. awesome write! keep up the great work. i really hope to read some more of your work...
    | Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by Big_Country | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought this was great. I get the feeling that your reality is something that you're trying to escape, into a fantasy where everything is displayed, out there; where you know yourself and freedom is at its best. But eventually this fantasy dwindles, and you're forced back into a reality that's slowly driving you insane.

    I really liked the first stanza; it establishes the a setting and a great beginning.
    I liked the imagery of this line:
    "And my life and soul pass by my side"

    but then your second stanza didn't flow so smoothly; i had to read it a second time and stop to get a sense of the flow.
    | Posted on 2008-01-20 00:00:00 | by TheStillSilence | [ Reply to This ]

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