Description: Dealing with painful memories...break-ups bring the worst out of people.
I See Her -------------------------------------------
I see her standing alone
Her back against the wall
I see her panicked and afraid
As her nails dig into the crevices of bricks
I see her as her heart beat quickens
As darkness surrounds her
Engulfing all that is happy
Into a pit of nothingness
I see her as her eyes fill with water
I see her as she is now a mess
I see her with mascara coated eyes
Looking into the distance at me
I see her as she yearns to be me to be taken From her hell and placed into my heaven
I see her I see her as she falls to her knees In prayer holding up her shaky hands toward The sky I see her as a silent
"Lord forgive me" escapes her lips
I see her as the tears flow heavy down Repentive cheeks
I see her...I see her as she grips the ground Hoping to feel the spirit
Of those before her I see her
As her soft cries turn into
Loud cries of anguish
I see her as her body
Twists and crumbles
As her pain takes over
I see her...I see her as she holds her eyes With mine...I see her watching me as she Transforms into the demon she chose to be
I see her as the pain blackens her eyes I see Her...I see her...I see me
Hey there... I totally loved this piece... I loved the end the most... < i see her, I see me > that was really nice...
but with the strog vocab you used < I see her as her eyes fill with water > this line seemed bit weak.. I suggest to change it !!
all in all... Great Job...
and you're totally right , break-ups bring the worste out of people... even if you were the one who chose to split up ... even if you weren't happy with your partner... there always got to be something missing !! that's sadness is easier to find than happiness... I really envy the happy !!
again : Great Work !!