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    dots Submission Name: The Dumpdots

    Author: koster
    ASL Info:    51 So. Calif deser
    Elite Ratio:    6.89 - 185/105/78
    Words: 221
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 1237
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1421


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Dumpdots

    when I was a child
    I loved to ride in our truck
    a battered forty nine Willy's Jeep
    we called the Heep and feel
    the stiff coiled springs under
    the thick blue naugahyde
    loved the way the windows
    rattled and liked to watch
    the pavement blur beaneath
    the hole rusted through the floor
    The grinding shifts and engines noise
    and through the cracked rear window
    mounded high and pressing in
    all our trash on its way
    to that fun and surprising place
    the city dump at the end of
    a jouncing ride on rutted mud
    a mountain rose from beside the bay
    and high overhead diving down
    and wheeling in great noisy flocks
    seagulls a riot of white with
    black tipped wings fought for
    bits of food and chased what ever
    bird could not swallow instantly
    jumping out in my soiled shoes
    while my brothers and dad
    undid the ropes and slid
    the tarpolin off and began to
    empty out our offering
    while I kept a sharp eye out
    for useful rope, or an entire lamp
    or books or who knew
    what was buried in or would come
    to light churned up by bulldozers
    that crashed and scraped paths
    compressing trash i watched
    as mattresses buckled and sighed
    and mourned a crumpled
    ten speed bike

    Submitted on 2008-01-20 10:40:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      "Very interesting write, precise, concise, and to hell with silly punctuation rules (in this case not reuired). As a boy I also on occasion frequented the town dump, awhirl with seagulls and sometimes rife with rats. It never ceased to amaze me what some people throw out. On one occasion 2 perfectly good bicycles and a good typewriter. We always managed to scrounge a wagon load of pop bottles or copper scrap which we sold for cash. Anyway thanks for the memories as Bob Hope would say and keep writing."-----Mugsy----
    | Posted on 2010-04-09 00:00:00 | by mugsy | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautifully painted with the descriptive words you quite masterfully handle. Somehow, I am feeling the dump is in San Diego. I don't know why...
    | Posted on 2008-01-20 00:00:00 | by brokenmuse | [ Reply to This ]
      first of all i am not going to say anything about punctuation(that isn,t there)i have read that there are poets who write that way,and to be honest the lack of punctuation didn,t bother me.it shows you are writing for yourself and not to suit other people who may comment on the punctuation.
    the poem is different but i enjoyed it, so many images packed in there and because of the lack of punctuation they flew by me as if i was sitting in the truck with you.yes i had the image of that old rusty truck right in front of me, wonderfully described.

    as mattresses buckled and sighed
    and mourned a crumpled
    ten speed bike
    i really liked the ending, i think you have done a grand job here-
    take care
    | Posted on 2008-01-20 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]

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