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    dots Submission Name: Fairytale Suicidedots

    Author: dismal_s child
    ASL Info:    19/F/On A Carousel
    Elite Ratio:    3.24 - 451/419/172
    Words: 172
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1123
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1145

       To my Baby.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFairytale Suicidedots

    Once upon a time there was a little girl,
    She was alone and she told me.
    That she wanted to leave this world
    She built the most beautiful wings,
    and overlooked the fall.
    She wanted to leave more than anything,
    Anything at all.

    It was her fairytale suicide
    She wanted to get away
    A fairytale suicide
    She couldn't find her way
    It was her fairytale suicide
    The world was at fault
    Her fairytale suicide
    Over the edge she vaults

    He came into her life
    When she sworn off boys
    But, he became her man
    Not another inane ploy
    She fell in love
    She knew it was real
    Because in the end, He was all she could feel

    It her fairytale suicide
    She found her way
    Her fairytale suicide
    Was for them to runaway
    It was her fairytale suicide
    When he took her heart
    Her fairytale suicide
    Kept her from falling apart.

    And now she smiles
    Her cuts scarred and healed
    She walked for miles
    To hold his heart

    Submitted on 2008-01-20 14:27:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I love titles that draw me in and the title you used definately did it. Of course I also really like the morbid-sounding stuff. But this was really nice. It wasn't all doom and gloom and actually had a happy ending afterall. Very very uplifting!

    | Posted on 2008-06-16 00:00:00 | by Ayane | [ Reply to This ]
      This is really good. I thought it was going to be a sad suicide poem, but this was really sweet.

    The only part I can think of that isn't right is one little spacing mistake.

    "She fell in love
    She knew it was real
    Because in the end, He was all she could feel"

    There should be two different lines,

    "Because in the end,
    He was all she could feel"

    Otherwise, I think this was a really good poem.

    Nice Write
    | Posted on 2008-04-15 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      hey baby
    i love you and you know your baby and i love you so much and i really cant picture my life w/o you b/c you have made me into how i am today i never would have gotten here if it hadn't be for you, i love you baby with all of my heart and soul and you are the one thing that keep me sane the one thing that kept me pushing on even when i felt down and baby i love you so very much my beautiful baby my precious angel i love you w/ my entire heart baby my heart is your i give it freely i love you baby and i guess i'll will talk to you later ok
    i love you baby
    <3 always & forever
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by anguished_child | [ Reply to This ]
      nice one, Precious Love.

    you're my Brilliant Angel.

    love and kisses,
    hugz n misses,
    | Posted on 2008-01-25 00:00:00 | by ruejacobs | [ Reply to This ]
      dont take this as a put down but i read fairy tale suicide and i understand the flow and story of it but you sounded like you ended it way to soon. it sounded like you just got into it and it ends. i was hoping there was more story to it because you sound like you could have a good imagination. this is more complioment then not . otherwise great plot thanks.... ian
    | Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by 1949mercury | [ Reply to This ]

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