Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

boreas


Author: wovenwords
ASL Info:    19/F/Washington
Elite Ratio:    2.46 - 108 /303 /189
Words: 123
Class/Type: Poetry /Nature
Total Views: 1309
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 846



Description:




boreas



january;
i converse with the frozen bones of the trees,
a scintillating prospect
under sheets of malicious raindrops
an aura of silver depression
carried by the wind
radiating through the holes in my head
and the holes in my shoes.

does the season ever
cease?
i've only the memory of
your tepid breath upon my ear
as i brave the spiteful winds;
a torrid mess of crinkled leaves
waltzing 'round my feet.
Tears freeze in the corners of my eyes
reminding me again
to prevent my own
winter effects...

...but i still can't
stop the biting Boreas,
his innards a frozen amalgamation of ice,
his breath a glacial gust
as it nudges me along the path of Winter.




Submitted on 2008-01-21 02:45:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  that is really pretty and slightly sad, yet not

"under sheets of malicious raindrops
an aura of silver depression
carried by the wind"

"a torrid mess of crinkled leaves
waltzing 'round my feet."


you use really cool imagery, nice vocab too

i really enjoyed reading this

-Bella
| Posted on 2008-01-29 00:00:00 | by IsabellaAurora | [ Reply to This ]
  This is well done. I like the alliteration in "glacial gust" and "season ever cease" and the imagery ("sheets of malicious raindrops" and "frozen bones of the trees") . The only thing I can criticise is that I don't think you need two ellipses together.
| Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
  I really enjoy this. I am adding it to my favorites.
It makes me think of how Winter does nothing to help my depression.

"does the season ever
cease?" -I like how that sounds.

"a torrid mess of crinkled leaves
waltzing 'round my feet." -yummy. if those words were dessert I would eat them right now.

"glacial gust". makes me think of being turned to ice in the most tragic and quick way possible.

Well, those are my very favorite parts. It's good to see you writing (or at least posting) some things again. :-)

-Lucy
| Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by LucyDiamond | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



156260