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    dots Submission Name: Right Hand Alivedots

    Author: blueorchids
    ASL Info:    30/F/California
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 1096/928/91
    Words: 220
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1903
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1379

       I'm left handed, and he's right handed. Right hand alive because of the tattoo he has on his right hand, quite literally, and hands in general because that's where our courage dwells. It's been forever since we've talked about things that no longer have consequence, but felt so vital to breathing at the time. So for you, Joe, wherever you are. But I'm tired of holding onto my creations before they're perfect, before I'm happy to share them. I've recently learned life is too short to be perfect all the time.

    So rip me a new one, make me, make this better. Thoughts as always, lovelies.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsRight Hand Alivedots

    we collide in a late
    afternoon reverie,
    the only way we seem fit to meet.
    you speak of flowers,
    riotous petals plucked to say Sweetness
    to your Love ...
    i never noticed he had erased
    from my wants.

    today Love
    has left cruel stains on my fingertips, hastily
    dried up but stubbornly
    not quite gone away.
    what you offer me is not to wipe them away with,
    but cleanses the pain anyway.
    today Love
    you are slightly hopeless about, but these
    i do not think belong to you ...
    i hope whatever keeps you afraid
    will someday make you brave enough
    to fight for what you want.

    how i wish what beauty is to you is what beauty should be to me.

    if i never again fly awake
    to risk quaking courage and abated strength
    to learn your lessons,
    to put my heart first, for once ...
    i'll leave you my left hand and
    pray that
    you should someday sing your poetry
    say your heart aloud
    with your right hand Alive
    with the left bringing the mike in closer ...
    with the left that makes you brave to reach out,
    the left that brings your Love closer
    the right to hold onto her tightly.

    Submitted on 2008-01-21 12:56:22     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      i really love this...i mean i really really love this...i'm unable to really describe what i feel when i read it...excited really just because...i sit and read poem after poem...and yea they aren't bad....but they really don't give me that feeling of completion...or like i've accomplished something in reading it....but after i read this...i just felt like...i'm improved for reading this...these honest feeling placed so perfectly on the page...and no i'm not saying this because you gave my work such high praise...i honestly feel this way...when i read a good poem...it just makes me happy...no matter what the details of the write are...yes i feel the emotion your expressing but my over all feeling is defently being content at being able to experience anothers mind...i agree with proper noun...people don't realize the power of our hands...when you are unable to express somethiung to another or even to afraid...sometimes your hands can express what you want to say...purps
    | Posted on 2008-03-13 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm glad you're writing again. It looks like a lot of us have started posting again after a long dry spell.
    You had a few places in this were you end a thought with a preposition and it drove me nuts. I kept reading looking for something I missed, but it wasn't there. It became a distraction from your true meaning.

    That said, You have some wonderful lines in here that represents truths that are near to my heart.

    " hope whatever keeps you afraid
    will someday make you brave enough
    to fight for what you want."

    This line hold the reminence of love. The truly wanting better for someone but acknowledging that that love will not mature into what it could be. Not for lack of want, but from fear to grow beyond known boundries.

    "dried up but stubbornly
    not quite gone away"

    Love truly never goes away, it just morphs into a new form of acceptance. I decided long ago that each love becomes a part of you, if for no other reason thatn it had a hand in shaping you.

    | Posted on 2008-03-11 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ]
      ...there is always that sense of a bronte or an austen having proof-read your work but your heathcliff or your d'arcy are bass players or tattoo'd surfers...

    it doesn't much matter what they are because they have the same effect on the way that you express yourself and there is merit in that,because you are always candid and what we see with you is what we get. and i like that.

    so you have decided that life is too short to knock edges off and add polish before going to the country. i would concur.

    i have always held the belief that it is better (for me anyway) to get what you have to say said, especially if your punctuation and ordering of words are in the main of a standard that will underpin any other perceived shortcomings. and yours are.

    to that end i enjoyed this for what it is: a diary note; a love letter and a treatise on how others hold us in their hands; both physically and metaphorically.

    yes, always a yearning note to your work - like some small japanese finch whose cage is put in the eastward facing window...

    take it easy mate,

    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      i adore such honesty in poems. i really do. and i'm a lefty too.

    tragic... yet serene.
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by silent strings | [ Reply to This ]
      I was kind of curious to read this since I'm ambidextrous.
    "riotous petals plucked to say sweetness." That's exactly it. I'd just never heard it expressed before. Great!
    "love has left cruel stains on my fingertips." Here I wasn't sure what happened. Did you fight and the cruel stains were blood? It is left ambiguous.
    But anyway, you were right to give such important values to hands, They are what makes us human. Imagine a dog playing piano with his paws......not going to work..
    And left handers get discriminated against, too. Everything seems made for a right handed world. And left still means "sinister"to some idiots. Or a "left handed" notion is bad.
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by azurwarrior | [ Reply to This ]
      I can't believe how much power you've given to hands. People hardly realize how much the hands mean. You use your hands to support a family, and when you get married you offer your hand. You captured both the practicality and the warmth and meaning that hands have.

    "today Love
    has left cruel stains on my fingertips, hastily
    dried up but stubbornly
    not quite gone away."

    As opposed to:

    "i'll leave you my left hand and
    pray that
    you should someday sing your poetry
    say your heart aloud
    with your right hand Alive"
    | Posted on 2008-01-21 00:00:00 | by _proper_noun_ | [ Reply to This ]

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