Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The End of Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Aethyx
    ASL Info:    14/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 25/23/15
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 699
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 773



    Description:
       UPDATED
    I remembered the ending and it's finally up! Check it out!


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe End of Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    My name is Anna
    Im only 15
    And I'm dieing
    From smoking weed
    And drinking beer
    And doing speed
    Now I'm in the hospital dieing
    And my mom she cant stop crying
    I wish I could have turned around
    But I'm too late judging by the sound
    The monitors flat lined again
    Can the doctors save their addicted friend
    It's all my fault yes I know
    Bright idea to drive drunk in the snow
    I couldn't miss the party of the year
    Another opportunity to drink some beer
    I really fucked up when I got in the car
    I figured well home's not that far
    And who would have though I'd hit a tree
    And that would be the end of me




    Submitted on 2008-01-22 17:21:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Everyone has something that killing them quickly don't they. One thing I love about this poem is how discriptive you were. You weren't afraid to hold anything back. It seems as if I'm at the hospital with you.
    Sorry, but I have one thng to critisize. The thing that threw me of is how you started out the poem in free verse, and them started rhyming. Even though you can still say what you want and still rhyme, I think you should try a whole poem using free verse.
    Besides that, it was really good. and no matter what anyone says, don't listen to someone who tries to force you to stop, it won't work. you have to stop when your ready to stop. And don't let anyone try to say something is wrong with you, you will be fine. This is from a poem by my favorite poet, Anne Sexton called "The Addict". I live this poem.

    "I make arrangments for a pint-siz journey
    I an the queen of this condition.
    I am an expert on making the trip.
    And now they say I'm an addict.
    Now they ask why.
    Why!"

    By the way, I just realized this, you spelled dying wrong.

    ~*~katara~*~
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156373

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Genesis written by saartha
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love and Solitaire written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    By the bar written by expiring_touch
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry