[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The End of Medots

    Author: Aethyx
    ASL Info:    14/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    4.04 - 25/23/15
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 599
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 773

    I remembered the ending and it's finally up! Check it out!

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe End of Medots

    My name is Anna
    Im only 15
    And I'm dieing
    From smoking weed
    And drinking beer
    And doing speed
    Now I'm in the hospital dieing
    And my mom she cant stop crying
    I wish I could have turned around
    But I'm too late judging by the sound
    The monitors flat lined again
    Can the doctors save their addicted friend
    It's all my fault yes I know
    Bright idea to drive drunk in the snow
    I couldn't miss the party of the year
    Another opportunity to drink some beer
    I really fucked up when I got in the car
    I figured well home's not that far
    And who would have though I'd hit a tree
    And that would be the end of me

    Submitted on 2008-01-22 17:21:33     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Everyone has something that killing them quickly don't they. One thing I love about this poem is how discriptive you were. You weren't afraid to hold anything back. It seems as if I'm at the hospital with you.
    Sorry, but I have one thng to critisize. The thing that threw me of is how you started out the poem in free verse, and them started rhyming. Even though you can still say what you want and still rhyme, I think you should try a whole poem using free verse.
    Besides that, it was really good. and no matter what anyone says, don't listen to someone who tries to force you to stop, it won't work. you have to stop when your ready to stop. And don't let anyone try to say something is wrong with you, you will be fine. This is from a poem by my favorite poet, Anne Sexton called "The Addict". I live this poem.

    "I make arrangments for a pint-siz journey
    I an the queen of this condition.
    I am an expert on making the trip.
    And now they say I'm an addict.
    Now they ask why.

    By the way, I just realized this, you spelled dying wrong.

    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    Love written by saartha
    Comme un lion en avril written by Outlaw
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Birds of a Feather written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Etiquette written by saartha
    Relativity written by poetotoe
    mimicry written by expiring_touch
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Shut Up written by annie0888
    phantom limbs written by expiring_touch
    untitled written by ShyOne
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Life is moments written by Ramneet
    Suffer The Children written by poetotoe
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (1) written by endlessgame23
    Tartarus written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    Records I written by Raphael




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]