Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Listendots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raito
    Elite Ratio:    1.79 - 3/6/12
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 105
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 1094



    Description:
       My first poem here! It's about mother Earth.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsListendots
    -------------------------------------------


    Listen silently to the rain,
    Listen to the wind howl.
    Smile justly through your pain,
    Your prison smelling foul.

    Reach up and grab a shining star,
    Or even touch the moon.
    You needn't worry it's not far,
    You'll be leaving this place soon.

    It's okay to weep and cry,
    Show no shame in knowing.
    You already know the reason why,
    Your guilt is always showing.

    Jealousy is a sneaky foe,
    But is can be overcome.
    So don't wallow in your woe,
    Your sins will soon be none.

    Your leaving this place far behind,
    Your leaving sons today.
    Not all humams are too kind,
    But you love them anyway.

    You heal the Earth's wounds,
    with a tender loving heart.
    You'll rise up in the sky soon,
    And watch through the clouds as they part.

    My dear goddess of Life,
    Your heart is so nice.
    You are pure, full of strife,
    Happy to be the sacrifice.




    Submitted on 2008-01-22 18:01:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I thought this was a well written poem. As SK said you should fix the grammar in the fourth verse, but besides that fact it was a nice read. The rhyming was well.
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by BeautifulSoul | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem is exceptionatly good. I love the rhyming in this one, so i only have one problem.
    Your grammar. Read back over it, it reads,"But is can be overcome." obviously a mistake, but proofread.

    -SK
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by faded color | [ Reply to This ]
      i really like the ending
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by TwistedMinded | [ Reply to This ]



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry
    This user has been inactive for more than 5 days.