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    dots Submission Name: Youdots

    Author: peanut911
    ASL Info:    19/f/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    4.89 - 19/19/8
    Words: 116
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 410
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 822

       Some of it is a little shaky and needs work, I know. I can take anything so give me what you got

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    No longer darkness, only light,
    All the wrongs just seem right.

    I don't think, I just do,
    I become powerless, focused on you.

    Focused on your touch,
    The intensity increases so much.

    Your lips I cannot resist,
    Make my lips long for your kiss.

    With each touch my consciousness lightens,
    And the ecstatic passion heightens.

    Endless sparks of desire flies,
    The thrill lasts as the passion amplifies.

    Finally the peak, though never-ending,
    'Cause with you it's everlasting.

    Then you take me in your arms and hold me,
    Here I feel that sense of security.

    Then, as your hands find mine,
    A perfect fit as our fingers entwine.

    Submitted on 2008-01-22 22:03:36     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I have a soft spot for a couplet, especially in a love theme, it shows so simply the relationship between two people. Its so hard to criticize something like this because its a total declaration of love and full of personal emotions. I just wish there was a better flow, maybe some meter, you will create magic if you can accomplish this.

    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by Polydectes | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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