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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A fools Dreamdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Man in Black
    ASL Info:    34/male/Henderson, Ky
    Elite Ratio:    6.35 - 87/48/14
    Words: 372
    Class/Type: Prose/Serious
    Total Views: 24465
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1825



    Description:
        Still putting a fewpeaces to a new story. Having some trouble with the feel of this one......


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots A fools Dreamdots
    -------------------------------------------


    The alarm clock calls to Chuck, beckoning to start the day in a sing songy voice that sounds strangely like the morning weather.
    Staring at the ceiling and the oddly shapped water mark that has lived there long before he called this place home.
    A blue bird chirps just outside on a thin branch of large Oak tree . Majestic and beautiful it stands there as if to protect the window from the entrusive noises from the streets below.

    And yet here the blue bird chirps, as if to say, "Time to get up and start your day. Hurry now, no time to delay ! "

    Slightly giggling at the thought of this, A smile stretches his face into what can only be called a smile....


    It is a very cold night. The kind of night that constantly reminds you that you should be indoors with the steamy white fog emitting from your lips only to vanish as if majic before you eyes.

    A grizzled man turns away from his watch post and lets out a frustrated grunt. Thinking to himself, I knew we shouldn't have brought the boy. He is gonna give our postion up and get us all killed.
    He turns and gently gives Chuck a shake.
    " Sarge what is it ?" Chuck says in a voice still commanded by his sleep.

    " Your dreaming and making a awful racket . " replied Sarge " Laughing, giggling and carring on. I ain't gonna take no bullet b'cause some pup is having him a sack date. It won't be long now till the sun is up and we have to get moving again. "


    Chuck did as he was told. Pulling the make shift blanket around him. Now, more than ever, he wished he could hear that blue bird sing.







    Submitted on 2008-01-23 01:59:41     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      You said you want first impressions.
    First it seemed like an ordinary guy was getting out of bed, accompanied by the bluebird. Because he smiles as this and most people wouldn't he begins to seem a bit on the strange side, possibly.
    Then night comes around too quickly as it might seem for night to fall. The grizzled man seems OK at first. Then
    Suddenly everything changes to war or at least violence.
    Was Chuck the dreamer originally communing with the blue bird?
    Or was that the boy? Why was anyone named sarge anywhere near the child. Why was the child there anyways?Why would they get killed by the boy's "racket?"
    How does the child even attempt sleep knowing bullets could be flying their direction?I do gather he is comforted by the thoughts of the blue bird.
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by azurwarrior | [ Reply to This ]



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