Sweet intimacy by shabnam

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Submission Name: Sweet intimacy dots

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Author:	shabnam
ASL Info:	23 f Germany
Elite Ratio:	4.35 - 322/248/45
Words:	106

Class/Type:	Poetry/Passion
Total Views:	105
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	671

Description:

Sweet intimacy dots

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I catch your eye laying on me
A tender runs through my whole body
While questing my lines, you use your gaze as fingertips
With a malevolent grin on your lips

With each blink of your lashes curving very gently
Flames of lust tremble within me slowly
Not in your near I still hear you sigh
Losing all my pertinence, I feel shy

Philandering, playing, captivating thrills you
Enjoying this game of desire being the only two
Ignoring the crowd around we take pleasure in the intimacy
Feeling your touch from far, we continue this venture in ecstasy

Submitted on 2008-01-23 08:32:17 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I liked a lot of parts of this poem one of my favorites was the first stanza I get the idea of beautiful little lady bug tickling your skin then you grab and embrace it. The thought of you can feel the gaze laying there and it touching you like fingertips while you catch it wonderful really wonderful.

Now on to the negative and I apologize because I do like this write very much but the second stanza I believe could you some work. The flames of lust I thought is your strength their but at the same time I believe you could work on that one to truly flow with the rest.

I also enjoyed the connections of the lust and "Philandering" and I got from it two strangers wanting to feed into animal instincts and run wild. BRAVO I enjoyed the write very much.

Great write,
Anthony
| Posted on 2008-04-27 00:00:00 | by Kersofmia | [ Reply to This ]
  Yes, that moment when the world just disappears and there's only the two of you standing there, holding one another's gaze, feeling each other's thoughts. Flirting with your eyes... feeling a connection.
Lovely!

| Posted on 2008-02-06 00:00:00 | by Intricate1 | [ Reply to This ]
   I agree with my fellow writer Tif and I also enjoyed the same part of your poem and I hope this poem is some situation that happened to you and you put it into papers.

" "Philandering, playing, captivating thrills you
Enjoying this game of desire being the only two
Ignoring the crowd around we take pleasure in the intimacy
Feeling your touch from far, we continue this venture in ecstasy"...

But I do not know the meaning of the first word " philandering " what does this word means please?

I enjoyed the whole peice of work. Great Job..

| Posted on 2008-01-29 00:00:00 | by Khaled AbdAllah | [ Reply to This ]
  "Philandering, playing, captivating thrills you
Enjoying this game of desire being the only two
Ignoring the crowd around we take pleasure in the intimacy
Feeling your touch from far, we continue this venture in ecstasy"...

this was the most powerful and expressive - some of the other stanzas felt forced in rhyme - not always feeling.

Great!

love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
tif

| Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

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