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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: your kissdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: love_confusion
    ASL Info:    15/f/ct
    Elite Ratio:    1.63 - 4/19/23
    Words: 194
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 102
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1091



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsyour kissdots
    -------------------------------------------


    your kiss is like the moon so magical
    it makes want to sore into the open world
    learn to fly and reach the sky
    reach the stars high up above
    thats your kiss and the power it holds
    it makes me want more and more
    just one kiss and i loose self-control
    just one kiss and the future is fortold
    together forever our love will be whole
    together forever my heart will be yours
    ill never leave your side as the years pass us by
    cuz only with you i want to be side by side

    your kiss is like heaven, you kiss is like the sun
    so warm and loving so full of life
    a magical connection between our two souls
    when our lips touch i never want to let go
    thats your kiss and the power it holds
    it makes me want more and more
    and each day the passes by
    i cant wait to look into your eyes
    cuz i know nothing but love is there
    with your thoughtful smile, with all your care
    thats your kiss and the power it holds
    it makes me want more and more




    Submitted on 2008-01-23 15:47:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is a good writing it relates to my life and has a very sensitive side to it, the word "cuz" is an abbreviation for Cousin so it's rather weird of you to put that in their.
    This is my favorite part of the poem
    "your kiss is like heaven, you kiss is like the sun
    so warm and loving so full of life
    a magical connection between our two souls"
    way to use a lot of Character
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by Gmann | [ Reply to This ]
      This was actually a pretty well done piece. It seems very passionate. I like that you didn't use the word I over and over and it did not rhyme. (Personally, I do not really like rhyming poetry). The only word of advise I can give is to take out the word "cuz". It kinda makes it seem like a middle schooler threw those in an otherwise great piece of writing. The rest is rather good though. I like the repetition of the couple of lines:

    "thats your kiss and the power it holds
    it makes me want more and more"

    It was placed in the same place in each stanza which was a nice touch. Good job.

    ~Lilithe Amara Aislin
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by Lilithe_Aislin | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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