[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: 3 Mile Rundots

    Author: Persephone
    ASL Info:    19/f/ US
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 328/352/136
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 831

       Inspired by a race on campus. Not much more than that. I watched as the runners ran past my dorm, and this is what I thought of it all.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots3 Mile Rundots

    We are running a race,
    sometimes going left,
    sometimes hanging right,
    and rarely going straight.

    Sometimes the breathing,
    is too hard and heavy,
    sometimes too easy,
    no challenge in the event.

    Some runners stop early,
    and others make the whole,
    but what if finishing
    isn't anything at all?

    And sometimes the winners
    don't really deserve the medal,
    and the losers
    lose more than a race.

    Every person in the race,
    to seperate ends will go,
    But once the dash is finished,
    there are questions to go.

    No one holds those answers,
    and no one asks a thing,
    just another race,
    this race we call
    our Lives.

    Submitted on 2008-01-23 17:05:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Boo running! Did I tell you my roommates and I have started going to the gym? Let me just say again...boo running! I agree with the Gadfly about it tapering off...also just a pet peeve, but you rhymed go with go which just makes me cringe a little bit, but that might just be the English major in me.
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by jennah | [ Reply to This ]
      The poem started off with very strong imagery and metaphorical/rhetorical wording. It fizzled out (much like some of the runners you mentioned) with a very anti-climactic finish. The last two paragraphs were disconnected and a distraction to the read.

    I would recommend re-working the poem. It had such a great start.
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Expression!!! BEING inspired by another or by something in the environment & breaking "IT" down...

    That is the beauty of poetry and stepping outside and putting the view into more minut perspectives - what is the race & the run really...


    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif ~*~
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Fasade written by jackz
    Linger written by saartha
    Every..... written by jackz
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    The Promise written by annie0888
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    One Day written by WriteSomething
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    True Death written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Giving written by jjd
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]