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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 3 Mile Rundots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Persephone
    ASL Info:    19/f/ US
    Elite Ratio:    3.53 - 328/352/136
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 705
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 831



    Description:
       Inspired by a race on campus. Not much more than that. I watched as the runners ran past my dorm, and this is what I thought of it all.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots3 Mile Rundots
    -------------------------------------------


    We are running a race,
    sometimes going left,
    sometimes hanging right,
    and rarely going straight.

    Sometimes the breathing,
    is too hard and heavy,
    sometimes too easy,
    no challenge in the event.

    Some runners stop early,
    and others make the whole,
    but what if finishing
    isn't anything at all?

    And sometimes the winners
    don't really deserve the medal,
    and the losers
    lose more than a race.

    Every person in the race,
    to seperate ends will go,
    But once the dash is finished,
    there are questions to go.

    No one holds those answers,
    and no one asks a thing,
    just another race,
    this race we call
    our Lives.





    Submitted on 2008-01-23 17:05:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Boo running! Did I tell you my roommates and I have started going to the gym? Let me just say again...boo running! I agree with the Gadfly about it tapering off...also just a pet peeve, but you rhymed go with go which just makes me cringe a little bit, but that might just be the English major in me.
    | Posted on 2008-02-13 00:00:00 | by jennah | [ Reply to This ]
      The poem started off with very strong imagery and metaphorical/rhetorical wording. It fizzled out (much like some of the runners you mentioned) with a very anti-climactic finish. The last two paragraphs were disconnected and a distraction to the read.

    I would recommend re-working the poem. It had such a great start.
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by The Gadfly | [ Reply to This ]
      Expression!!! BEING inspired by another or by something in the environment & breaking "IT" down...

    That is the beauty of poetry and stepping outside and putting the view into more minut perspectives - what is the race & the run really...


    Great!

    love,peace,joy,abundance & smiles to share
    tif ~*~
    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]


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