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    dots Submission Name: todaydots

    Author: Morsketch
    ASL Info:    21/F/TX
    Elite Ratio:    3.6 - 27/26/26
    Words: 71
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 841
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 456

       Emo day

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Once more down the rabbit hole
    All things down my gullet
    Another pill to cleanse my sins

    Committed to obscure my guilt
    And solidify the pain
    Of all these years alone

    Fighting every day
    For one last straw to cling to
    One last thread to bind me to this hell

    The bud that never bloomed
    The girl that never grew
    Smothered by the need of others wanting

    Submitted on 2008-01-23 22:57:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      there was no clean flow from one stanza to the next. and without that last staza to sum up what you were feeling it would have really just been a bunch of images floating. the third stanza seems a bit more trying than the others... as though it was harder to find what to say... but i liked it... i like this poem...

    "Another pill to cleanse my sins...
    Of all these years alone...
    One last thread to bind me to this hell...
    Smothered by the need of others wanting..."

    thses lines are all powerful... and when read together, some up the mood and feeling of this whole piece...
    | Posted on 2008-01-25 00:00:00 | by medusa | [ Reply to This ]
      There's something about the simplicity of this that I really like.

    I especially like the first stazna, and most of all, the line "Another pill to cleanse my sins."

    Life can really blow sometimes, but you've gotta roll with the punches. Remember, no matter how hard life gets, and no matter where you're at in your walk of life, life goes on, and there'll be one person who will get you out of this single-handedly, whether it's someone of the opposite sex or a new friend. Trust me, I've been there. Many of us have.

    Feel free to message me if you would like to talk about your depression. I'd like to help, if I may.

    | Posted on 2008-01-23 00:00:00 | by Keaton Volkov | [ Reply to This ]

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