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    dots Submission Name: Canvas of Dreamsdots

    Author: colopoao
    ASL Info:    42/ Male / Hallowell Mai
    Elite Ratio:    4.89 - 62/55/18
    Words: 88
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 710
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 576


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    dotsCanvas of Dreamsdots

    The Canvas of Dreams
    By Chris Osgood

    The blade penetrates the soft inner fruit
    Spilling the breath on to the page.....
    Staring up at the dark shadows.....
    The room grows hazy, as your brain tries
    To understand why there is a lack of
    The blade cuts and cuts, trying to find some sort of answer
    Some sort of understanding....
    Staring out at 300 channels of static....
    Trying to connect the dots
    It is a black and white world trying to
    Exist on a canvas of dreams

    Submitted on 2008-01-24 11:26:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Power words in use here, but I'm not clear on any particular message other than some kind of trip. Perhaps if you filled in some more details between the jumps?
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. This was interesting and innovating, and reminds me of how pointless so many things are without knowledge and understanding. Although the style you have used here is not a particular favorite of mine I did enjoy it. It is just a tiny bit disharmonious, while flowing just right as well, not something that always works as well as it does in this particular piece. I wish you the best of luck in your future writing, and will continue to check out your submissions.

    Pretty Spiffy
    | Posted on 2008-01-24 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]

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