Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Sharing The Native Peace Pipedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: azurwarrior
    ASL Info:    44/m/SoCal
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 86/85/63
    Words: 102
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 561
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 836



    Description:
       This is a Native scene in winter.
    (You might want to smoke a peace pipe before you read it.) (JK)


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSharing The Native Peace Pipedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Ah.................
    Trudging the trail of Winter quiet,
    Leaving a bit of scene behind,
    with every aching forward step.
    Enjoying the kaleidoscopic frost,
    feeling mesmerized....
    Are there secrets hidden here?
    azure, crystal enveloping skies,
    wind shaking, rustling branches,
    crackling steps, up and down hills,
    aching muscles, the pain of continuing
    sharp, fast inhalations
    complex dazzling snowflakes
    The path not forked
    beating its way to finality.
    Snowflakes pool on my beaded coat,
    circling and falling and dropping down,
    not penetrating.
    Thankful to the animal
    for its skin and protection.
    I am glad for everything.
    while splashing slush,
    along this path,
    Just this once.




    Submitted on 2008-01-24 23:14:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      You're expert in this verseform but I bet you haven't analyzed your use of it. However, you have enough examples to make a survey.

    Trust me, it is the best fun and helps one write! Someone else rebuked me for even suggesting it, though. I wouldn't say "trust me" to anyone under 30 ...
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      i really liked the images here in your poem,quite vivid descriptions of a long treck throgh a winter covered land,i,m not to sure though if you are talking about a "native" in the sense of a native american(peace pipe) or are you talking about another kind of pipe?and what about the splashing water part, you might have to explain that for me.
    thanks for sharing
    take care
    ger
    | Posted on 2008-01-25 00:00:00 | by eyeless in gaza | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156503

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    The World written by jjd
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry