Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: .Desert Ruinsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: azurwarrior
    ASL Info:    44/m/SoCal
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 86/85/63
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 457



    Description:
       This is a piece I wrote in the desert, when my car overheated and I waited for it to cool down.I was probably in Utah.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots.Desert Ruinsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    It all comes down to an unknown.
    The cacti stretching hard up towards the sky,
    Know.

    The rough grass tacitly exists.
    Growing and dying.
    They know.

    The sun knows
    up to its point.

    The eagle strives.
    Doesn't know.
    Doesn't ask.

    We search for meaning,
    As part of this barren landscape.
    Because we are.
    We know we just are.




    Submitted on 2008-01-24 23:38:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      There is another poem in the immortal line: "I was probably in Utah."

    You reminded me that it was a desert people who found out that God is called I AM.
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      What Brian said.. yeah. I can feel the movement in this one. I like reading it. I read it twice.. Lol.
    Your work is a combination of free verse and rhyme. I love that kind of poetry.

    "We search for meaning,
    As part of this barren landscape.
    Because we are.
    We know we just are."

    Again.. pure poetry... pure.
    Deluded letters that were created long ago by the ancients.. have given you insight to express your emotion the way you do. Great. You should endorse your own book of poems. <3

    5: Wow!
    | Posted on 2008-01-25 00:00:00 | by Maiku Deamon | [ Reply to This ]
      This sounds a lot like those poems that people read in front of an audience on stage with Bongo drums, and people snap at them. That's totally not a knock to the piece, because I love going to those things, they're kind of the highlight of my week at the local coffee shop. That's a little bit tangential, though.

    I like the contrast between "Know", and "Don't Know" presented by cacti and eagles, I thought that was neat, and bringing in personal connection at the end gave me a sense of audience that I don't realle get giving snaps to people on a stage.

    Wishing for more
    ~Brian
    | Posted on 2008-01-25 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the ending.
    "Because we are.
    We just know we are."
    That's comforting, I just can't really explain why at the moment, but it feels like it's being spoken by an ethereal voice around me. At the beginning, the words "tacitly exist" something that is not said but understood. So they never talk about existing they just understand. Wow, I really like this idea. It seems like a little droplet of wisdom in poem form. I don't know, it makes me feel happy, I really like this. I don't know, there was no pain in this, no struggle, which sort of makes the poem almost a paradox because of the title "Desert Ruins", doesn't it. Hm... this was calming, I might add this to my favorites list.
    Be well,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2008-01-25 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    156504

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Meaningless Meanings written by ForgottenGraves
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Lie back & tan written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    FamiliarDemons ©™ written by kyserin
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry