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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Laid Back Cat From Californiadots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: azurwarrior
    ASL Info:    44/m/SoCal
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 86/85/63
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 715
    Average Vote:    2.5000
    Bytes: 1111



    Description:
       This is for cat lovers only.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLaid Back Cat From Californiadots
    -------------------------------------------


    Little kitty, curled up so cute.
    The quilt is yours. You have claimed it
    as well as the office chair with the catnip cover.
    When you lose both of these, your life is forlorn.

    You're such a laid- back kitty.
    You belong here in California.
    When I pick you up, you don't resist at all.
    You just hang limp as though you had no bones at all.
    You have grown so much from the kitten at the shelter who picked me.
    I hope you're not unhappy with your choice.

    One thing though,
    you trust absolutely everybody,
    You ran up outside to a man you never even met and did circles around his feet
    like you thought he was carrying kitty cat food and might drop it.
    He was not pleased about this at all.
    You need to be inside for your own safety.
    i know you don't understand this
    so everyday going out is a battle.
    but you are so worth it.
    When i call your name you come.
    When i call the other cats name you STILL come
    You are very precious!




    Submitted on 2008-01-25 01:08:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I agree with blu_kittin that the verse is not your best, but who the hell cares? This poem is a full rich real poem, the sort which critics ought to leave alone except unfortunately there is no law to protect great crappy poems. Maybe poets ought to start a campaign, see Senators, etc.?

    Even some legal protection for poems about cats would be good; except that they are not in so much danger because cat owners are so fierce and cunning ...
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      ok. I realize that you are probobly quite thrilled with this piece and love it almost as much as your cat about whom you have written this. I like cats too, so don't get me wrong about this. This peice lacks rhythm and flow and any sense of rightness. Its great that you are expressing so your emotons so fluently, but to be completely honest with you, this piece needs a lot of work. It is not solid enough, and the topic is way to shakey, to be a story, but it does not have the fluid grace and ease of prose or poetry.

    Sorry, but that's how I feel, and I don't avoid leaving comment just cause I don't like a piece. This site is for critiques, not compliments.
    | Posted on 2008-01-25 00:00:00 | by blu_kittin | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    12. Does it feel original?



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