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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Withered Majestydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: doppelganger
    ASL Info:    18/f/your brain
    Elite Ratio:    1.68 - 27/194/137
    Words: 159
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 94
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1212



    Description:
       Attempt number 2 for my creative writing assignment. Again with the basis of my frustration with most readers of today; too lazy to look beyond the words, the concrete, to see the real meaning behind it all.
    The being, a mermaid, is the reader and has become accustomed to the synthetic substance, the sweet, simple sustenance. Which would be poetry or stories with no intent on leading the reader further into it than what is on the page or an occasional "hmm...". The new stuff fades and it doesn't want to have to deal with the once wonderful, natural water. That normal water would be the classic poetry, the thinkers' poetry which the reader would see nothing in but a bunch of words, rhymes, stanzas which aren't pleasing up-front because it would take the smallest bit of effort to think on it. It can't deal with it and it kills itself by throwing itself upon the sand to die in the sunlight and lack of water. That is the creative mind perishing when there is nothing to stimulate it but some blatant words on a page.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWithered Majestydots
    -------------------------------------------


    With flicking tail the ethereal being
    Is one with the surrounding aquamarine.
    Pearls loaned its hues to the
    Local opium eaters
    Who prophesized revolution.
    Thriving on life here, the fluid is rich.
    Nature in accordance and perfect harmony,
    The sun, that being we love and hate;
    The moon, creatural in its starry realm;
    The birds, the fish, the sand and trees;
    All silently singing an overture.
    Delicate beauty,
    Lace woven from life,
    Strands of names and voices, so ornate.
    An intruder comes, encompassing the underworld.
    Simpler, a false god wearing
    Philosophers’ shoes.
    Carving patterns in the atmosphere,
    The world is in delight.
    It’s a sweeter nectar than
    Eden’s apple.
    Soon dissipating with the tide,
    Stolen by earth’s machine,
    The myth must revert
    To old habits,
    Old nutrient,
    Ancient sustenance;
    The wont of those with her tail.
    Now unaccustomed to
    The three-charactered goddess
    She frantically, manically thrusts
    Her form onto the sand
    To become a withered remnant
    Of magic.




    Submitted on 2008-01-26 12:44:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Is this about global warming? Because at the end,
    "She frantically, manically thrusts
    Her form onto the sand
    To become a withered remnant
    Of magic."

    If I am on the ball here, I don't see how anyone would not be able to understand what you have here. I feel like it was magical in itself what you wrote, and I wish my vocabulary was as extended as yours that I could make readers feel the water aound them as if they were standing by the sea. I feel what your saying, about new machine's just killing the magic the earth once had, where it has no choice but to hude itself away, or die, but it ends up dying out anyway. But if I am no where near what you were trying to say, this is was I got from the poem anyways. I'll go read it again, but I will say I am biased, because I am obsessed with sea related poems, because I am in love with the ocean and all that is in it. I feel like it's more than that, though, about people leaving behind what they used to believe in for a quick fix because somehow it's easier to be appeased now, than to way for salvation. Again, pretty religious, whatever religion you choose.
    "...a false god wearing
    Philosophers’ shoes."
    Brilliant.
    Be well,
    ~Azura*
    | Posted on 2008-01-26 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]



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