[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: But It Seemed So Profound Last Nighdots

    Author: azurwarrior
    ASL Info:    44/m/SoCal
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 86/85/63
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 960

       This is the original version of this poem. I thought there might be something to it that got lost in the rewrite.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBut It Seemed So Profound Last Nighdots

    Robert Maplethorpe's holding a dark beige stick,
    waving out the piss-iron subway windows...
    In the tunnel, a skull-capped man,
    Sprays from a can "Not Intended for Graffitti."
    (Heh heh)...
    He sprayed:

    Someone's coming!
    run over dense ghost feet,
    breathing urine and exhaust fumes.
    We pound up to the ground level.
    on the infamous Orange line.

    Someone's cooking fish heads loudly,
    On all 4 corners of the block....
    A tan guy with a weathered brass saxophone
    blows deep azure for Miles.

    We see a headline blowing down the street,
    from a black and white issue of the Boston Globe,
    splintered by some homeless men's fire:

    And we burned a Buddhist candle in grief,
    That was a virgin candle,
    never before encountering fire.

    Submitted on 2008-01-26 17:33:00     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Don't know why it needed re-writing ... but I guess you do! It takes me out for an evening with some graffiti makers; but who the heck is Robert Maplethorpe?? May be I missed a lot of this poem because I don't get that reference.
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Genesis written by saartha
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    All Time Low written by Janesaddiction
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    This written by Chelebel
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    ME written by jjd
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Stretto written by saartha
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]