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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Truth or Consequencesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: azurwarrior
    ASL Info:    44/m/SoCal
    Elite Ratio:    5.03 - 86/85/63
    Words: 100
    Class/Type: Misc/Serious
    Total Views: 730
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 667



    Description:
       Some children get born with both sex organs. Doctors used to make them girls until it was found the male or female brain is independent.
    Lots of maimed people walking around. Misunderstood.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTruth or Consequencesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Always and forever,
    he is determined.

    He runs full force
    into your narrow, jagged walls of pain

    that you set up as a joke
    to golden you, who never once had to question their gender...

    You sneer at his determination.
    You call him an idiot, a fool, even a woman!

    What could be more insulting?

    But still he continues,
    stretching every fiber of his being....

    while you flick your cigarettes,
    and sip your martinis, amused.

    Still he runs. He will give all and never stop.
    because somehow,someone may see the real him!




    Submitted on 2008-01-26 22:01:59     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sounds like a poet to me, this character?

    Who is "golden you"? Another character, some imperviously superficial, self-deceptive and semi-human silvertail ... I used to know some adults like that when I was a kid. Grew up and put a lot of energy into avoiding their world!

    I'm not sure I read your poem the way you meant it, but those were the ideas it evoked for me.

    It's a victorious idea. Some meetings are real, if one can stay real! The poem could be a complaint about Life or Humanity, though: I guess it would depend who's reading it!

    I had a reaction to the verseform. Not really a critical reaction: an emotional one. Free verse is difficult but there seems to be nothing wrong with yours. However, my reaction was that I wanted to read this in three-line stanzas! I know it is irrational but that's what I felt. Maybe, the poem is so spare and to the point that the use of passionate diction with hot figures in it sets up some desire for more heated language?
    | Posted on 2008-02-07 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


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